Do I Stay With The Fat Boy?
by PrincessMangled
Summary: In this final installment of the fatboy series, the school is putting on a musical. While particpating in the show, AJ begins to get close to someone and Cartman begins to get jealous. Will this relationship last? Meanwhile, Stan is living the single life and joins the musical to try to win Wendy back while possibly falling for his sbf. Ships: Cartman/OC, Style, Creek, Butters/OC.
1. Chapter 1

The school bell had rung. School was now in session. The 4th graders had all sat down and were talking amongst themselves.

"Good morning students." Mr. Garrison said. "As you all know the musical auditions are in today." The whole class was silent and some students exchanged looks. "Look I know most of you don't care, but for those who do we are going to perform the musical, Who & Why."

"Who & Why? What the hell is that musical about?" Clyde muttered.

"Who & Why is a murder mystery musical." Wendy stated. "It features a detective named Joe who is invited into a mansion to help solve the murder of Mrs. Danielle Wellington. Joe is accompanied by her daughter Jessica and they fall madly in love while trying to solve the mystery, however-"

"-Okay Wendy." Mr. Garrison interrupted. "Don't spoil the damn show."

"Ha! Mr. Garrison yelled at you hippie!" Cartman laughed.

"Anyways today we are gonna learn about why Columbus was a mass murderer." Mr. Garrison stated.

As Mr. Garrison faced the board to give his lecture, Cartman turned to face AJ, who was trying to stay awake.

"AJ, psst. AJ wake up." Cartman whispered.

"Hmmm what?" AJ responded.

"You're falling asleep in class again." Kyle whispered joining the conversation.

"Mmm yeah I know. I was up late again practicing my song for my audition for the musical." AJ spoke. "Lana kicked me out of our room because I was being too loud and she wanted to sleep. So i ended up practicing in the living room and passing out on the couch."

"Speaking of auditions. I'm going to audition too." Stan said.

"What? You're not serious are you Stan?" Kyle responded.

"Yeah Wendy's going to audition and it would be great if I did too. That way I can prove to Wendy that I care about her interests so we can get back together."

"Oh..."

"I'm auditioning." Kenny said.

"You too Kinny?" Cartman asked.

"Yeah Lana and Butters convinced me to." With that being said Lana and Butters waved over to Kenny.

"Well if all of you are trying out, I guess I will too." Kyle said.

"But dude, you're not even prepared." Stan said.

"Do I really have to? You just read a few lines from the musical and sing a song."

"Pfff well I'm not auditioning." Cartman said interrupting Stan and Kyle. "I'm just going to auditions to see AJ. Right AJ?...AJ?" Cartman turned to see AJ sleeping on her desk completely drooling. "Eh, wake up." He began to snap his fingers at her, but she still was fast asleep. "I give up."

As soon as the end of the school day bell rang, students rushed home except for the ones auditioning for the musical and those who were there to watch. To everyone's surprise, a lot of the boys showed up to audition.

"Okay I'll bite." Bebe said. "Why are you boys here? You never audition for the musical."

"Well," Craig said. "This year we wanted to."

"Bullshit." Red responded. "You always told me that you hated musicals."

"Let me guess," Bebe said. "You're only auditioning because the musical has a lot of killing involved."

"Whoa, she's good." Clyde said.

"Not me." Stan said. "I'm auditioning for a completely different reason."

"And what would that be?" Bebe asked. Stan silenced himself and then spoke,

"Because, because Token was auditioning this year."

"What?" Token said from a distance.

"Yeah, I didn't think a lot of guys were gonna show up and I didn't want Token to be one of the only guys auditioning." Stan lied.

"Ugh huh." Bebe said raising an eyebrow. "Whatever, I have to go practice my song for the audition. Come on Red."

Time had passed. Kenny, Lana, and Butters had finished their audition and Stan was next to audition followed by Kyle, after Kyle was some fifth grade girl, and after her was AJ.

"Stan Marsh!" Mr. Garrison shouted. Stan gulped and went on stage in front of Mr. Garrison and Mr. Mackey. He could easily make out Cartman in the audience sitting with Kenny, who decided to stay and watch while Butters and Lana went home. There were also a few other students who stayed to watch besides Kenny. One of them was Wendy.

"Heres the script, m'kay." Mr Mackey said handing Stan the script. "Please read those set of lines right there, m'kay."

"There she is," Stan spoke. "Lying on the floor. Mrs. Danielle Wellington. This poor woman, killed by a chandelier. If there is one thing I know is that this woman was murdered. That chandelier was cut with a knife and I'm certain the killer is in this very room. Jessica, lock the doors and windows, nobody is to escape."

"That's fine, Stanley." Mr. Garrison said. "Now your song?" Stan sang his song and as soon as he finished, he sighed in relief. "Thank you, Broflovski!"

"Oh this should be good." Cartman cackled to Kenny. Stan sat down on Cartman's other side just when Kyle walked on stage.

"M'kay Kyle." Mr. Mackey said. "Do you have a song to sing?"

"Don't you want me to act out some of the lines from the show?" Kyle asked.

"No need to Kyle, m'kay. Your speeches are enough to convince us you can act."

"My speeches? But what do my speeches have to do with-"

"-Just sing your damn song!" Mr. Garrison groaned.

"God dammit." Kyle muttered. Kyle closed his eyes and sung his song and finished.

"Good thank you." Kyle hopped off the stage and took a seat next to Stan as the fifth grade girl walked on stage.

"Dude, your singing has really improved." Stan said.

"Really I thought I sounded like shit." Kyle replied.

"Dude not even." Kenny said. "You sounded nice, even Cartman let his mouth drop a bit."

"I did not. Stop making shit up Kinny." Cartman responded.

"Look, AJ's coming on stage." Stan said.

"About damn time." Cartman said.

"M'kay, AJ here's the script could you read these lines?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"Sure." AJ replied. AJ cleared her throat and began to read the lines, but as she read them, everyone in the room began to giggle. Her acting was just plain awful. She stumbled across words and most of the time she sounded like she was a robot on drugs.

"Mmmmmkay. How about you sing your song." When AJ sang her song she didn't sing as beautifully as Wendy did, but she sang alright. As AJ finished, she was about to walk off stage when Mr. Garrison spoke,

"AJ could I talk to you after auditions?"

"All righty." AJ smiled and hoped off stage to join her sister Cassandra, who also came to watch AJ audition in the row behind the boys. A few others auditioned and it was finally the end. As the four boys stood up from their seats, AJ ran off to go see Mr. Garrison. Cartman was going to follow her when he felt a foot stomp on his.

"Fuck!" He shouted.

"That's for laughing at my sister's audition." Cassandra said as she left for her locker to collect her things to go home.

"You had it coming." Kenny snickered.

"I did not laugh." Cartman replied.

"Yeah you did!" Kyle shouted. "You covered your mouth with your hand to hide your smile."

"Fuck off, Keel."

"It's Kyle dammit!"

"You know what, fuck all of you guys." Cartman walked away from his group of friends to go find AJ and Garrison. When he found them, they were standing in a secluded corner outside the auditorium so he quietly listened in.

"Look AJ," Mr. Garrison spoke. "Your singing is great, above ensemble worthy. However, when you act it's like taking a knife and continuously stabbing the side of my head with it."

"Soooo...I didn't make it in?" AJ asked.

"Not exactly. I was hoping that instead of being in the show, that you would become a part of it."

"I don't understand."

"I was hoping you would join the stage crew. You see, we could use more of a hand with the behind the scenes. Are you up to it?"

"Please say no." Cartman prayed.

"Sure." AJ responded happily.

"God dammit." Cartman whispered to himself.

"Great." Mr. Garrison said and walked away. As soon as AJ was alone, Cartman ran up to her.

"Hey Car Car." She said. "Guess what? I-"

"-Are you out of your fucking mind!?" Cartman shouted.


	2. Chapter 2

"What do you mean?" AJ asked with a rather confused expression.

"You joining the stage crew, AJ." Cartman said with a facepalm.

"Why? Is that bad?"

"Yes. All the nerds are on the stage crew."

"Oh Car Car, they are usually found doing the technical work and trust me, I don't qualify for the techie stuff you have to be in tech club."

"Even so you still have to socialize with them."

"So?"

"So what if they turn you into one of them?"

"Eric don't be ridiculous."

"...I just don't want you to become a computer hugging hippie."

"I won't trust me." With that being said, Cartman sighed.

"Fine then I guess I'm okay with you being on stage crew."

"Really? Yay!" AJ then jumped with joy and gave Cartman a kiss on the cheek.

"You ready to go, sis?" Cassandra asked walking up to the two of them.

"Yeah I just need to get my things." AJ said.

"Cartman!" Kenny waved. "Come on dickhole we're leaving."

"I'm coming." He responded.

"Bye Car Car I wish I could walk home with you guys but my mom is here to pick us up." AJ said. "Come on Cassandra lets go get my stuff." When they were out of sight, Cartman caught up to the guys. As they were walking home, Kyle broke the silence.

"So did you find out why Garrison wanted to speak to AJ?" He asked.

"Yes." Cartman responded.

"And what was it?"

"Probably to talk about her shitty acting." Stan giggled.

"Eh!" Cartman shouted. "...it was just to offer her to be on the stage crew."

"Oh that's good." Kenny said.

"I'm surprised you're not pissed off." Kyle said. "Are you worried that AJ is going to be socializing with the techies or what you like to call the nerds?"

"For your information Kahl. AJ and I already talked about that so shut the hell up!"

"Whoa someone's pissy." Stan said.

"Now that's the Cartman we know." Kyle responded and Stan and Kyle laughed together.

"Ha ha ha very funny." Cartman said sarcastically. "Fuck you."

A few days had passed until it was Friday, the day the cast list goes up after school. As soon as the end of the school bell rang all the students who auditioned ran to the school bulletin board. Butters was the first to get there and then a crowd of students surrounded him.

"Wendy." Bebe said. "You're Jessica."

"Really?" Wendy asked.

"Congratulations Wendy!" AJ said happily.

"Thanks AJ." She replied.

"Who's the male lead, Joe?" Lana asked.

"Token." Butters responded.

"Token?" Stan said in disbelief.

"Well no surprise there, he's black and he can sing better than all the guys here." Cartman said.

"Then who am I?" Stan asked.

"You're the head butler, Mr. Walsh." Butters replied.

"There's no surprise." Kyle said. "I'm the damn narrator."

"Well that's what you get for making a lot of damn speeches." Cartman said.

"Shut up fatass."

"Oh boy, Kenny, Lana, and I are apart of the ensemble as maids and butlers." Butters said.

"Yay, we'll be rehearsing together." Lana said. "Looks like rehearsals are next week."

"And the stage crew meets on the same days as rehearsals. Awesome sauce." AJ said.

"Hey AJ, it looks like we're on stage crew together that means we can be crew buddies." Nichole said giving AJ a high five.

"Hey Stan." Wendy said approaching Stan.

"Hey Wendy." Stan said. "Er...ugh congratulations on making the lead female role."

"Congratulations to you for getting the head butler. Mr. Walsh is a great character and you deserved the role. Your audition was great."

"Thanks Wendy."

"Well I gotta go now, bye Stan."

"Kyle!?" Stan said to Kyle. "Did you hear that?"

"Yes, I heard." Kyle replied. "Considering I'm right next to you."

"Oh yeah...I forgot. Well, I may have not gotten the lead but I still impressed Wendy, isn't that great?"

"Yeah sure."

"Oh and Stan!?" Wendy shouted from across the way as she was leaving.

"Yeah?"

"Friends?"

"...Friends." With that being said and as soon as Wendy was out of sight, Kyle turned to Stan.

"Looks like you were just friend zoned dude."

The weekend went by really quickly and it was finally Monday. The bell had rung for lunch and the students filed into the cafeteria. The four main boys all sat down at their table.

"Today is the day." Stan said.

"Yeah." Kenny replied. "How do you guys think the first rehearsal is gonna go?"

"Ehh it's gonna suck" Cartman said.

"You know it's that kind of attitude that makes a show shitty!" Kyle said.

"And that is why i didnt audition."

"And we're happy that you didn't." Stan said.

"Eh!"

"So what are you gonna do now, Cartman?" Kenny said. "I mean after school you'll be walking home alone."

"And do you think I care?" Cartman replied.

"Well shit, I don't know that's why I asked."

"I'll be fine. Walking home alone is no big fucking deal. Then I can go home-"

"-and sit on the couch like the fatass you are and eat cheesy poofs. Yeah, what else is new?" Kyle stated.

"Fuck you Jew."

When the bell rang after school, Cartman gathered his things and as soon as he shut his locker door, AJ was right there.

"AJ what the fuck! Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Jesus Christ." He shouted.

"Oopsie sorry, Car Car." She responded. "I just wanted to say I'll text you when I get home from rehearsal."

"Yeah sure whatever."

"Bye bye." With a kiss on the cheek, she was gone.

"Aww someone looks sad." Cassandra said walking by.

"Ehh fuck off!"

"Relax doofus, I'm here to remind you about Mackey's dumbass counseling sessions."

"Yeah I fucking know."

"Apparently you don't because last Monday was when you were supposed to be there. Mackey says if you don't report to the session this Wednesday before school then you will be getting detention for the rest of your time at South Park Elementary and it will be during recess so that means no more recess ever."

"Fine bitch now go the hell away."

"Gladly." Cartman sighed in annoyance as Cassandra had left. He grabbed the rest of his shit and did what he was famous for, go home.

In the auditorium, the cast of the show had gathered.

"M'kay quiet down everyone." Mr. Mackey said. The auditorium full of children did not pay attention, that is until Mr Garrison shouted,

"Hey you little shits! Listen up!" The auditorium fell silent.

"M'kay." Mr. Mackey said. "Welcome to the first rehearsal. Now let's start off with separating the stage crew from the cast."

"Stage crew to the left, cast to the right." Mr. Garrison said. Soon the auditorium was hustling and bustling with children moving. "All right, stage crew you will be going with Mr. Adler." The stage crew got up and followed Mr. Adler behind the stage. "The rest of you are going to stay here. Today we are going to start with a cold read of the musical. Mr. Mackey will hand out scripts."

While the cast was going through their cold read, Mr. Adler had led the stage crew back stage and stopped.

"All right." He said. "Where are my techies?"

"Right over here." One of the techies blurted out among a group of them.

"Okay so you all know what you're supposed to be doing right?"

"Already discussed it over in tech club." A fifth grade techie responded.

"Great. You can go get to it." The techies all got up and went out a door which led to the tech booth. "The rest of you are going to start showing me where you belong as far as the crew goes. We will start off by building sets. This means you will be heading with me to the wood shop. While in the wood shop I don't want any screwing around got it?"

"Got it." Replied the stage crew.

"Lets go."

The crew got to work after they were given instructions on how to use the equipment and AJ and Nichole both decided to build trees for the set. When AJ was finished, she presented her tree to Mr. Adler with a huge smile only to get an unhappy reaction.

"Agh!" Mr. Adler shouted. "I told you to not screw around!"

"But I didn't." AJ responded happily. "This is my tree." Not only was the tree lopsided and looked like a two year old made it, but it sort of resembled a penis.

"Young lady I do not want that to be seen on stage...just get rid of it."

"Otay." As AJ walked away, Mr. Adler could determine that set building was not going to fit her.

As the day progressed, the crew was tested in other areas such as curtain opening/set changing and make up. All of which AJ did bad at. Nichole did okay, but she really nailed make up. Mr. Adler knew that Nichole would definitely be put on make up. Mr. Adler was really struggling on where he could put AJ, he was trying to put her in a place where she didn't suck the most. He was just about to put her somewhere when he looked up and saw AJ at the sewing machine next to the costume room.

"Hey! What are you doing? Are you screwing around?" He said.

"No sir." AJ responded. "I spotted a cute dress in the costume room and so then I thought hey, that would be cute for Wendy's character to wear. However, I thought it looked to old fashioned so I'm making the dress shorter and the sleeves straps and adding in some fun stuff. I'm just about done and done. Yay!" AJ pulled the dress off the sewing machine and the stage crew dropped their mouthes. This dress looked way different then it did. I looked very pretty and perfect for Wendy's character.

"How did you do that?" Nichole asked in awe.

"I just did it silly." AJ responded.

"But how?" A third grade boy asked.

"Well I learned how to hand sew back in scouts and my mom taught me to use a sewing machine because I really liked to sew. Then I just took that and did this."

"You should totally be on costumes for the show." Nichole said.

"Hold on, we don't have costume designers anymore because the last one screwed around too much and ended up poking a kid in the eye with a pin needle." Mr. Adler said. "We just pick out costumes and that's it."

"Please let her." Nichole begged.

"Yeah please let me." AJ said. "I pretty promise to be extra careful."

"...Let me discuss it over with Principal Victoria." Mr. Adler said.

"I think that's a great idea." A voice said. Everyone turned to see Principal Victoria standing before them.

"Principal Victoria?" Mr. Adler said in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"Checking out the musical this year and I can see that you've found yourself a costume designer."

"But Victoria, what about the kid who screwed around?"

"That was a long time ago and I think AJ just proved to you that she knows what she's doing. So, I give her permission to be the show's costume girl."

"Wahoo!" AJ rejoiced and her and Nichole high fived.

"I look forward to seeing the show." When Victoria was gone, AJ took a selfie on her phone with Nichole and the dress. She could not wait to tell Cartman.


	3. Chapter 3

While the stage crew had been doing their thing, the cold read through the show had been going well. Kyle opened the show. The narrator role was a police officer that worked in the same police department as Joe and is telling the story to some other police officers in the break room. Overall, the read was going just fine until it reached Stan's part.

"Stan, just what the hell was that, m'kay?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"Me acting." he replied. "What else?"

"Dammit Stanley do you even read the script?" Mr. Garrison said with a face palm. "Mr. Walsh is supposed to sound like an asshole. You're making him sound nicer than a fairy princess prancing through the damn flower fields." With that being said, some of the cast began to giggle and cackle.

"This isn't funny, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey shouted quieting the cast. "This is serious. We are trying to put on a decent show this year and I will not stand to watch North Park Elementary's musical once again get all the praise for being the best show put on of the year, m'kay."

"Now," Mr. Garrison said. "Read your lines again Stan."

"God dammit." Stan mumbled. Stan then took a deep breath and started up his lines once again. "Who are you and why are you here, sir?"

"I was called about the murder." Token said. "The name's Joe...Detective Joe."

"You don't look like a detective to me."

"I prefer not to work in an officer uniform."

"Detective Joe you finally made it." Wendy said joining the scene. "Thank you so much for coming come on in."

"Hold it!" Stan said. "I don't think he's a real detective."

"Mr. Walsh," Wendy said. "If he wasn't a real detective the police would not have let him pass the police line."

"And if you really need further proof here's my badge." Token said.

"Hmmm, fine. You may come in sir." Stan said.

"That's better, Stanley." Mr. Garrison said cutting the scene.

Time had passed and the cast was done with the cold read and rehearsal for the day, before the cast was about to leave Mr. Mackey said,

"Good job today, m'kay. Tomorrow we will block the first scene."

"Be here on time please." Mr. Garrison said staring the cast down. "Now all of you get out of here so I can go home."

"Now that we have all assigned you all to a specific job on stage crew," Mr. Adler said. "I don't want any screwing around. We will get to work tomorrow you can go home now." AJ and Nichole packed up their things and were about to walk out when someone caught their eyes. A lone techie was struggling to move a stage light. The two girls exchanged looks and the both of them decided to approach him.

"Need any help?" Nichole asked.

"No I got it." The techie said.

"Really?" AJ asked. "Doesn't look like it...unless I'm looking wrong, but I'm pretty sure I'm looking right and it looks like that stage light is too heavy for you."

"No it's not too heavy for me." Replied the techie, however it was and he had let go of it. Luckily AJ and Nichole caught it together. "Perhaps I do need some help."

"Yeah figures...this is heavier than I thought." Nichole said. "And I have AJ helping."

"I'll join you two." The techie grabbed hold of the light and the three kids managed to push the light where it needed to go. "Thank you."

"No problem Kevin." Nichole replied.

"Kevin? That's your name?" AJ asked.

"Yeah Kevin Stoley. I'm in your class."

"Really?"

"Yeah AJ." Nichole giggled.

"But I never have like seen him with my eyeballs." AJ said.

"That is because you're either devoting your attention to the girls, devoting your attention to Cartman and his friends, and or sleeping in class."

"Hey, most of those are as true as peanut butter and jelly being a perfect sandwich combination except the last one. I only slept in class when I was practicing for musical auditions."

"Oh please, AJ. You sleep in class at least once a week."

"Really?...Strange...Anyways, nice meeting you Kevin."

"Nice making your acquaintance." Kevin replied. "See you around."

"Bye." AJ and Nichole said walking out.

"Well, there's my dad." Nichole said in front of the school. "Need a ride?"

"Nope." AJ responded. "My mom is picking my cousin and I up."

"Oh okay. Bye AJ."

"Bye bye." AJ walked over to Lana, who was talking to Butters and Kenny.

"Hey AJ." Butters said.

"Hello brother from another mother." AJ said while giving Butters a slight noogie which made Kenny and Lana laugh.

"How was stage crew?" Kenny asked.

"Super dooper awesome." AJ responded. "I'm going to be on costumes for the show. How was your run through of the musical?"

"It was fun." Lana said.

"Except for Stan." Kenny added. "Garrison made him look like a dumbass. He made Stan reread his lines because they were not acted right. His character is supposed to be rude and he was reading them like-"

"-A fairy princess prancing through the flower fields?" AJ interrupted.

"Y-yeah." Butters said with wide eyes. "That's exactly what Garrison said."

"How did you know that?" Lana asked.

"Oh just a hunch." AJ responded innocently.

"AJ." Kenny said raising and eyebrow. "That's just...complete bullshit."

"Otay maybe I overheard some kids talking about it when I was walking out with Nichole."

"Oh that's not good for Stan." Butters said rubbing his knuckles. "Pretty soon the whole school will know."

"Who cares." Kenny said. "It's not like they'll make fun of him. If anything they'll probably just laugh about the situation, not directly at Stan."

"I don't know the kids at are school can be real meanies."

"True." Lana replied.

"Really? Because I think everyone at our school is just wonderful." AJ responded happily.

"In your own little world AJ, in your own little world." Kenny sighed.

Meanwhile, Stan and Kyle were walking home. For a long while, the two said nothing. However, Kyle broke the silence.

"So," Kyle sighed. "Today was-"

"-Embarrassing? Humiliating?" Stan interrupted.

"Stan, it wasn't even that bad."

"Yeah, because you weren't the one getting criticized."

"Dude, it's not like Garrison criticized you through out the whole cold read."

"Dude! It was right in front of Wendy."

"Why does that matter?"

"You know why!"

"Oh God damn it." Kyle sighed beginning to roll his eyes. "Are you still on about winning Wendy back?"

"Yes." Stan responded.

"She put you in the friend zone Stan. There is a ten percent chance you will escape."

"Then I'll just have to take that chance."

"Or maybe you should not."

"Why?"

"Because you will just be wasting your time."

"How so?"

"Say you manage to get out of the friend zone and win Wendy back, you'll just break up again."

"How do you know!?"

"Because you do this all the damn time! You break up with Wendy or Wendy breaks up with you, then you go emo for a week, afterwards you fight to get Wendy back, then you get back together, and then the cycle starts all over again."

"That's not true."

"I'm sorry to say this Stan but yeah it is." Kyle and Stan stopped outside Kyle's house.

"Well...this time is gonna be different. I'm going to get back together with her and stay together with her." Stan said confidently.

"I'll believe it when I see it." Kyle responded with disbelief.

"Why are you acting like a douchebag? You're supposed to be my best friend."

"I am your best friend and as your best friend I feel obligated to tell you that I have my doubts about you ending your never ending cycle with Wendy." Before Stan could respond, Kyle cut him off. "Look, I've got homework to do and you do too. I'll see you tomorrow" Before Stan could even say goodbye, Kyle had entered his house.

When AJ had gotten home that night she had texted Cartman the news right away about her being the costume designer for the musical.

 _That's pretty kewl. Make sure to give Kyle the crappiest costume._

 _Car Car that's not nice._

 _It was just a thought, but seriously you should and give Wendy a shit ton of costume changes so she will always have to run around back stage._

 _You're acting like a meanie pants LOL!_

 _It's what I do best. ;) So...are you going to come over to watch Terrance and Philip with me?_

 _Actually I can't I'm sorry. The musical has backed me up on my homework. We'll hang out next time I pretty promise._

 _Okay._

Cartman put down his phone and sighed in annoyance. He didn't like being told no, but he shrugged it off and went down stairs, grabbed some cheesy poofs, turned on Terrance and Philip, and sat on his couch to watch alone.


	4. Chapter 4

The next day AJ walked to her locker with a red wagon with tons of stuff in shopping bags.

"What the actual hell is AJ bringing to school?" Stan asked.

"Probably stuff for the musical." Butters responded.

"What position in stage crew did she get that would require her to bring so much shit in a big ass wagon?"

"Costumes. So I can only assume that costumes are in those bags."

"I thought there were costumes in the costume room, why the hell would she bring more?"

"I don't know."

"Well, maybe it's not costumes at all. It could easily be a shit ton of food for Cartman." Kenny joked.

"You know, I could actually believe that." Stan replied. "Speak of the devil." Cartman began to approach Stan, Butters, and Kenny.

"You guys did you see what AJ brought?! Holy shit! It's most likely for me and guess what?!"

"What?" Stan responded unamused.

"I'm not gonna share whatever it is with any of you fuckers and I'm gonna rub it in your face...especially Kyle's face. By the way, where is that shifty Jew?"

"Right here fatass." Kyle responded approaching the group.

"There's my shifty Jew." Cartman mocked.

"And there's a beached whale."

"Eh!"

"So apparently I ran into AJ on my way over here." Kyle said changing the subject. "She had a wagon full of shopping bags and I asked her what was in them."

"And what's in them?" Butters asked.

"I told you guys. It's presents for me." Cartman said confidently.

"Wrong fatass, it's stuff for the musical." Kyle said.

"I knew it." Butters said.

"Apparently AJ's on costumes for the show. So she brought some things from home to work on the costumes like fabrics, sewing kits, and all that stuff."

"Ha!" Stan said to Cartman. "Looks like you won't be rubbing crap in anyone's face today!"

"Whatever fairy princess Stan." Cartman said with a smirk as he left for class leaving Stan with a shocked expression.

When Cartman got to class, he sat down and then poked AJ

"AJ." He said. "AJ, AJ, AJ, AJ."

"Yes?" AJ asked turning her attention from the girls.

"What's up with the wagon?"

"Oh, costume stuff for the musical."

"Nothing for me?"

"Nope."

"Oh." _Why the hell not!? I'm just as important as the shitty musical._ Cartman thought as the rest of the fourth graders arrived to class and sat down.

At the girl's lunch table, Lana sat down next to Red. Lana and Red had developed a friendship after AJ had a slumber party at their house a weekend ago.

"Hey." Lana said to the girls.

"Hey Lana." All the girls responded.

"What are we talking about today?" Heidi said

"How Stan is a fairy princess." Bebe said.

"Wait, what?"

"I guess you didn't hear the story."

"No what happened?"

"Well, during the cold read of the musical yesterday Garrison called Stan a fairy princess."

"Bebe that's not what happened." Wendy said. "Mr. Garrison said his acting for one scene in the musical made his character sound nicer than a fairy princess when his character is supposed to be rude."

"Whatever, same thing."

"Not really." Red said. "But okay."

"Anyways." Bebe said completely ignoring Red's statement. "Apparently a lot of people know about Stan being a fairy princess."

"Yeah because you went around and told everyone." Red said.

"I was not the only one Red." Bebe responded. "I saw a couple of the other grade levels who aren't even in the musical spreading the story around."

"Yeah after you told them." Upon hearing that Bebe began to look pissed.

"Whatever, in a way I'm doing a favor for Wendy."

"How is telling everyone that Stan is a fairy princess be doing me a favor?" Wendy asked.

"Well, he's your ex-boyfriend now so it should satisfy you that he's going to be picked on am I right?"

"No you're not, Bebe. I'm not mad at Stan. We are actually friends." Upon hearing this, all the girls stared at Wendy.

"What?" Wendy asked.

"Every other time you broke up with Stan, you were pissed off and wanted to have nothing to do with him." Nichole said.

"Yeah, so what?"

"Because you should be pissed. Why do you want to be friends with a boy that ditched you on dates to hang with his best friend?" Heidi said.

"I figured if we became friends it would-"

"-End the Stendy cycle by throwing him in the friend zone?" Red interrupted.

"Yeah if you want to put it that way." Wendy responded.

"So you have no interest of getting back together with Stan?" Lana asked.

"Yeah. I'm ready to move on." Wendy said with a smile. _That's good that's she's moving on from Stan._ Lana thought _. She needed to because well, you already know why._

"Isn't AJ supposed to be eating with us today?" Heidi asked.

"Yeah. She told me this morning she would be." Nichole said. "Her and I were putting stuff for the musical backstage this morning."

"Good I want to know all her costume plans." Bebe said. With that being said, a notebook landed on the table.

"I'm glad to hear someone is interested in what I'm doing for costumes." AJ said taking her seat in front of the notebook next to Bebe.

"Hey!" The girls all said in unison.

"So I'm guessing that notebook is full of designs am I right?" Bebe said.

"Well, as of right now I only have the ensemble's costumes designed."

"Let us see!"

"Otay." Bebe took the notebook and passed it around to all the girls until it finally came to Wendy.

"Wow these are cute. Especially for the maids." Wendy said. "Is Stan going to have a costume similar to the butlers in the ensemble?"

"Sorta." AJ said as Wendy passed it back to her. "I'm thinking since Stan is the head butler, that his character

Needs a tail coat and something well, extra to show he's the head butler. Something with

"I can't wait to see these on stage." Bebe said. "For once we might just have a musical with decent costumes." The girls all laughed and agreed that for the past few musicals the costumes had been absolute shit. For the rest of lunch, the girls moved the subject away from the musical and talked about other things that they loved to talk about, like makeup and celebrities.

During day 2 of musical rehearsals, AJ revealed to Mr. Adler her first designs.

"These are good, but how do you plan on making them I don't think this school has the right kind of materials to make them." Mr. Adler said.

"Nonsense." AJ replied happily revealing all the stuff in her shopping bags from the wagon. "My mom bought me all these fabrics last night as soon as she heard the news of me being on costumes. Oh and these threads, the pin thingies, and new needles for that sewing machine I used yesterday because to be honest, the sewing needles on the school's sewing machine are older than old. Like great grandpa and grandma old."

"Oh, well then continue what your doing but don't screw around."

"Trust me, I won't."

"Yeah..." AJ was just about to go into the costume room to see what she could transform into her design when she stopped. "Oopsie, forgot."

"What AJ?" Nichole said going through all the different makeup's she brought.

"I need to get measurements." AJ said face palming. "Silly me." AJ turned around and as she was about to head out to talk to Mr. Garrison, when she saw Kevin again.

"Hey Kevin!" She said.

"Oh hi." Kevin replied with a smile. "Where are you headed?"

"To talk to Mr. Garrison. I need to ask if I can pull cast members from their rehearsal for a teeny bit of time for measurements."

"Oh I'm actually heading over there myself. The techies wanted to ask Mackey what kind of sound effects and lighting he wants for the pages they're blocking."

"What is your actual techie job?" AJ asked as the two began to walk towards the cast, who were currently blocking the first twenty pages of the musical.

"Oh me? I'm on lighting. Andy assigned me there.

"Who's Andy?"

"He's a 6th grader and the Captain Kirk of our tech club."

"What is he doing for the show?"

"Sound effects. He gets to use a big sound board."

"Really? That actually sounds super coolio. So do you get like a light board?"

"Yes I do not as big as Andy's sound board but it's alright. Dougie, you might know him as Butter's comrade works with me on lighting as well. He's in charge of the spotlights."

"Wow, what else do you guys do for the show?"

"Well, The rest of the techies like Harry and Jan are working with the stage crew that are building the sets. They are in charge of closing and opening the curtains and moving sets for a new scene."

"Sounds like fun!" Kevin had AJ reached the blocking rehearsal and it had just been when Stan's first scene was being blocked.

"Oh god Stan your posture is horrible! You're a head butler for crying out loud. This isn't the Hunchback of damn Notre Dome and another thing-"

"-Excuse me Mr. Garrison." AJ said.

"What the, oh AJ...What do you want?"

"Well, I was hoping if I could barrow every cast member for 5 minutes so I could have measurements for everyone's costumes." Mr. Garrison sighed.

"Fine, but take the ensemble first because they don't have lines."

"Otay, that's perfect! The ensemble's outfits are already designed."

"Alright." Mr. Garrison said. "If you don't have lines in the show go follow AJ backstage."

"Mr. Mackey?" Kevin asked. "What sounds and lighting were you thinking of for the pages your blocking today?"

"M'kay Kevin, here's a copy of the script that I filled out with lighting and sound directions on them. I already have the whole show's lighting and sound written in this script."

"That's perfect. Thank you Mr. Mackey." Kevin said taking the script.

Kevin and AJ turned to head back stage with the ensemble behind them. AJ and Kevin stopped at the tech booth where Kevin waved goodbye and headed up there while AJ took the ensemble back for measurements. She measured Butters first and thought to herself, _Car Car always taught me nerds were bad and manipulating butt holes that have no friends, but maybe he was wrong...no he can't be, could he?_

"Ugh AJ?" Butters said gaining AJ's attention.

"Huh?" She asked.

"I didn't know that measuring me required me getting tangled up in measuring tape."

"Whoopsie sorry."


	5. Chapter 5

As soon as musical rehearsal was over, Stan hurried out of there. He was extremely pissed about being humiliated in front of Wendy and the cast once again. Was this really going to be everyday after school for the next four months? He hated being judged, He hated being in the musical overall, but he did it for Wendy... _Is this worth it?_ He thought.

"Hey Stan, wait up!" Butters shouted.

"Oh hey." He sighed.

"I just want to let you know that no matter how many insults Garrison throws at you, you should not feel so bad."

"Wow Butters that makes me feel so much better." Stan replied sarcastically.

"I'm being serious. Garrison is being a butthole because he wants the musical to be perfect." Butters said. "You know, I'm actually surprised Mr. Mackey hasn't been hard on anyone yet."

"It's probably because he's waiting till he has to teach us the musical numbers, then he can have his go at me. I can see it now, Stan that was flat m'kay. Stan those aren't the lyrics m'kay, m'kay, m'kay."

"You can't just assume that's going to happen."

"Oh but I can." Just as Butters was about to respond, Stan had sped off and was out of sight.

AJ and Nichole walked out of the school building exchanging ideas on what makeup Nichole could use to compliment AJ's costumes when AJ's phone buzzed. Cartman of course.

 _AJ, meet me at my house tonight. I got a sweet new video game for us to play and none of the guys want to come over._

 _Actually I have to do Garrison's homework and work on more costume designs for the play. Could we maybe hang this Friday?_

 _Fine._

 _I'm super sorry._

"Cartman?" Nichole asked.

"Yep." AJ said.

"It's like he never stops bothering you. Can't he see you're busy with the show?"

"I know, but he's not used to me not being available. I don't think he's adjusted to this yet. I mean, it's only the second day."

Cartman put down his phone and laid on his bed.

"I can't believe her." Cartman said to himself. "She's putting the musical before me. If I knew that this would happen, I've would have convinced her to not audition. Well, it's too late and I guess I'm going to have to deal with AJ being busy and it sucks ass." _Or maybe she isn't busy at all and is off with some other guy._ Cartman began to think. _NO! She would never do that! It's a possibility...because usually when a boyfriend or girlfriend say they're busy all the time means that they are likely to be with someone else...NO! I'll believe it when I fucking see it._

Cartman sighed and got up and went to his computer and opened Facebook to see a message from Stan.

 _Are you responsible for this picture fatass? Cause if you are I'm going to kick your ass!_

Cartman looked at the photo he was sent. It was a photoshop of Stan as a fairy princess with a hunched back.

 _Nope but whoever did this is super cool and I should thank them._

 _I don't believe you. Thanks to you, this picture is all over Facebook._

 _It wasn't me! Don't go around an accuse me dick! You have no evidence._

 _You're Eric Cartman, that's all the evidence I need._

 _Fuck you._

 _Well Fuck you._

 _I'm not going to listen to this shit for the rest of the night goodbye Stan._

Cartman clicked out of the chat with Stan and logged out of Facebook before Stan tried to message him back. He then decided to start up his new video game on his computer and lose himself in the virtual world.

The next morning, Wednesday, the day where Cartman had to come to school early for Mackey's dumb counseling session with Cassandra. Cartman opened the door to Mackey's office and saw that Cassandra was already in her seat.

"Nice of you to finally join us, m'kay." Mr. Mackey said crossing his arms.

"Look, I'm only here because you threatened to take my recess away so let's get this stupid ass session started so I can leave." Cartman said. Mr. Mackey sighed as Cartman took his seat next to Cassandra.

"M'kay, let's begin." Mr. Mackey said. "Today, we are starting off with being in one another's shoes. I want both of you to act out the other person, but here's the catch. I want you to act out as how you see the other person. Eric, you can go first, m'kay."

"Fine, I will." Cartman said with a smirk. Cartman cleared his throat and began to speak in a high pitched tone. "Hello everyone, my name is Cassandra and while I may look sweet and innocent, I'm nothing but a tiny little bitch." Upon hearing this Cassandra clenched her fists but kept her cool. "In fact, I'm such a bitch that I will do anything to sabotage anyone who comes in between me and my sister and I mean sabotage."

"Mmmm'kay, ugh Cassandra?" Cassandra looked to Cartman and began to speak in his accent.

"Well, I'm Eric Cartman and I'm a fat, racist, compulsive liar who is currently sitting in this chair lying about Cassandra to get her in trouble." She said causing Cartman to frown. "Also, I do nothing but treat people like dirt because I'm insecure about myself. I don't have many friends because I really don't deserve any or a girlfriend because I'm a nasty, vicious, little boy."

"M'kay." Mr. Mackey said. "Maybe we should-"

"-I just currently imitated Cartman, which I did a shitty job at by the way, I'm always pretending to be so innocent yet I'm such an evil little witch and I should be burned at the stake." Cartman interrupted in the high pitched voice.

"I'm such a fatty that when I stepped on the scale it sang ABCDEFG get your fat ass off of me." Cassandra responded in her Cartman imitation.

"I'm such a bitch that I might as well put on a collar, chain myself to a dog house, and bark."

"At least people love dogs unlike you!" Cassandra hollered returning to her normal voice.

"That's enough, m'kay!" Mr. Mackey shouted before Cartman could respond to Cassandra. "It's obvious that we have a lot of work to do. Today's session is over I will see you two next week same place, same time, m'kay."

"What!? That's bullshit!" Cartman shouted. "You said every other week!"

"I changed my mind, m'kay." Mr. Mackey replied. "You two need more help then I thought. These sessions will not end until you two learn to get along, now go get ready for class."

"Weak." Cartman said with an eye roll as he left the room followed by Cassandra who was silent but had a frustrated expression.

As Cartman was heading to his locker, he spotted AJ. He was about to approach her until he saw Kevin walk right up to her which caught him off guard. The two began to engage in a conversation that Cartman could not hear because he was too far away. _What the actual fuck is Kevin doing talking to AJ? They don't even know each other._ After a few minutes Kevin walked away and Cartman approached AJ.

"Hi Car-" AJ said.

"-Why was Kevin talking to you?" Cartman asked. "Was he brainwashing you with his geeky Star Trek shit?"

"Nope. He was telling me something about the musical. You see-" AJ cut herself off and thought. _Maybe now is not the time to tell Car Car that I have been talking to Kevin during rehearsals and not because I had to. Now that my brain thinks about it, Eric might just see nerds as buttholes because he has never got to know them. So that must mean he was wrong...hmmm...well it doesn't matter anyways maybe I could convince him that Kevin is actually pretty coolio and then let him know about Kevin and I. Yeah, that's what I'll do go AJ!_

"AJ!" Cartman said waving his hand in front of her face. "Your spacing out wake the hell up."

"Oh sorry." AJ said. "You see, the techies have to come and talk to the stage crew because they um they pass information from Mr. Adler to the rest of stage crew."

"Oh..." Cartman said. There was a long silence with AJ smiling widely and nervously at Cartman. "Well, you got your shit for class?"

"Ugh huh. Ugh huh. Ugh huh." AJ responded.

"Kewl let's go." Cartman held out his arm and AJ ran and wrapped her arms around it and walked with him to class.

 **To the person asking about pc principal I regret to say he won't make an appearance in this story.**


	6. Chapter 6

As the two got in the classroom, they noticed Stan's seat was empty.

"Thanks a lot fatass! Because of you, Stan isn't here." Kyle shouted.

"If this is about the picture of Stan, I didn't make it." Cartman replied.

"What picture?" AJ asked.

"Oh don't give me any of that I didn't make it bull crap." Kyle replied viciously to Cartman, not acknowledging AJ's question. "Why do you do this? Why?"

"Kahl, listen to me because I think you weren't listening before." Cartman sighed putting his hands together. "I...did not...make...the fucking picture. Now if it was a photoshopped picture of you then maybe I did."

"Oh right so if it wasn't you, who did it?"

"I don't know and I really don't care."

"Wow, he's only your friend. You should care."

"Well I don't."

"Whoever made it though was a genius." Clyde said.

"I agree with Clyde." Craig said unenthusiastically.

"The picture was funny because it made Stan look more stupid then he already is." Bebe said doing her makeup.

"You got that right, Bebe." Heidi said.

"Come on girls, knock it off." Wendy said.

"How did he walk around on stage again?" Bebe said. "Oh yeah like this." Bebe got up and hunched her back and walked around. The class room began to burst out laughing including Cartman. The only students who weren't laughing were AJ, who had no idea what this was about, Lana, Wendy, Butters, Kenny, and Kyle. "Oh and how was he talking? Oh right." Bebe changed her tone to sound like a goodie goodie and spoke. "Like this."

Little did anyone know, Stan was standing outside the classroom. He sighed and began to turn around and ditch class but before he could, a voice shouted.

"ALL OF YOU SHUT UP!" This caused Stan to jump and turn around. Not only that, the class stopped laughing and stared at the person who shouted it. It was Kyle.

"Excuse me?" Bebe said.

"Yeah you're excused!" Kyle said. "Now go sit your ass back in your seat and keep caking your face with makeup. Perhaps, I should make a photoshop of you and I fucking replace your face with a cake and post it on the internet so you know how Stan feels!" Bebe stayed silent and returned to her seat.

"Damn Jew." Cartman said. "You-"

"-No! Shut your fucking mouth fatass I don't want to hear another word from you." Kyle then faced the classroom. "Stan Marsh is my best friend! No! Super best friend! So back the fuck off. Otherwise, you'll be hearing from me!" Upon saying this Clyde began to giggle which caused Kyle to walk up to Clyde. "Oh, so you think I'm joking." Clyde looked up and smirked only to get a bitch slap right across the face which made the classroom jump.

"Kyle, Kyle, you need to calm down." Lana said getting out of her desk approaching him.

"No I don't, Lana, and why aren't you taking my side? You're friends with Stan are you not?"

"Yes! Of course I'm friends with Stan and I think what has been happening to him is horrible but you need to calm down."

"She's right." Kenny said. "You need to cool it before you end up in Mackey's office."

Kyle took a deep breath and once again, faced the class.

"If there is any more ripping on Stan, I swear to God I will make what happens to you just as worse as what I did to Clyde." Kyle then walked back to his seat.

Stan stood there, frozen. He had no idea Kyle was capable of all that. Stan then shook himself out of his frozen trance and thought, _Wow, Kyle did that for me? He didn't have to...but he stood up for me when no one else would and he even stood up to Cartman. That takes major balls and it's crazy thinking about what I just saw...Kyle must...really care about me._

"Stanley are you going to stand outside my classroom looking like a stalker or are you going to go inside and take your seat?" A voice spoke behind Stan. It was Garrison. "I don't have all day."

"Oh, sorry." Stan replied and walked into the classroom. As he headed for his seat the class stared at him in silence. _So Stan was here today._ Kyle thought. _Did...he see what I did?_

"Hello students," said Garrison. "I would say good morning but it really isn't, so screw that. Anyways-" Garrison began to blab on into his lesson. That is when AJ poked Cartman with her finger causing him to turn around.

"Hey, um, I had absolutely tutely had no idea what was going on this morning...What about Stan and a photoshopped picture? Why did Kyle act like a maniac?" AJ whispered.

"Well there was this hilarious fucking photoshop picture of Stan with a hunched back and dressed as a fairy princess. Kyle thinks I did it and even Stan because he messaged me on Facebook last night. Damn, I wish I did make that picture though." Cartman whispered back.

"Oh...but if you did, you would be responsible for hurting Stan."

"True, but he'd get over it eventually. He's my friend he would forgive me."

"You're right, but what about Kyle? I mean he just snapped...like a twig."

"I can give you five good reasons. A, Kyle has sand in his vagina right now, B, Kyle has jersey blood in him so he tends to act out like that, C, Kyle still has sand in his vagina right now, D, Kyle might be gay for Stan, and 5, Kyle has a TON of sand in his vagina right now."

"Wait a minute, what did you say?"

"That Kyle has sand in his vagina?"

"No, D."

"Oh Kyle being gay for Stan?"

"Yeppers. Do you really believe that?"

"Meh, it's just a theory. In fact, Kenny and I joked around about it for a long time. I don't know for sure. As you remember he took that bitch Bebe to the dance. However, he could have used her as a cover up just like Craig did when he took his cousin to the dance which I might add was fucking bizarre. I mean, who the hell does that? Anyways, it doesn't matter cause he's gay for Tweek now. As for Kyle, I would not be surprised to find out it's true, especially the way Kyle stood up for him this morning."

"Oh..so guess what happened to me last night? It's super funny. We were eating dinner and-"

"-AJ!" Garrison shouted. "Apparently what you were talking about was more important than my lesson."

"Yeah!" AJ smiled standing up. "So I was eating dinner with my family-"

"-AJ...just sit down and shut up please." Garrison said rolling his eyes.

"Oh...otay." AJ slumped back in her seat.

The school bell rang at the end of the day and Cartman was about to talk to AJ when Stan stopped him.

"What the hell do you want, Stan? If it's about the picture fuck off."

"No...it's not." Stan said.

"Oh what do you want? I don't have all day, I have to catch my bitch before she goes off to musical rehearsals."

"It's about Kyle."

"What about the Jew?"

"He stuck up for me."

"Yeah, he did."

"I mean, I know Wendy tried and I know Kenny, Lana, Butters, and AJ didn't laugh."

"I did."

"I'd expect that from you."

"Whatever and AJ didn't even know what was going on."

"I'd expect that too."

"So what the hell is Kyle going apeshit on the class for your ass have to do with talking to me?"

"I just, didn't think he'd do that...don't you agree?"

"Somewhat, but remember Kyle has a sandy vagina."

"True...it's just...agh never mind."

"Good, I'm glad this crappy conversation about you and Kyle is over with. Here's an idea Stan, how about you go talk to Kyle about this instead of dragging me into it because I got my own shit to deal with."

"Wow, what shit? You have a girlfriend who worships the ground you walk on and not to mention, you're not the one being bullied by the class. The only thing you have to worry about is Cassandra, and you've been handling it."

"I'm out, goodbye Stan."

"Some friend you are."

With a quick swift of the middle finger Cartman disappeared.

Walking down the hall to meet up with AJ, Cartman heard her talking to someone. It was Kevin of course. This time, Cartman was able to get close enough to listen to the conversation and watch without being seen.

"So AJ, are you ready for rehearsals today?" Kevin asked.

"We're not rehearsing silly. We're stage crew." AJ replied happily.

"I know that." Kevin laughed. "I was trying to communicate that if you were ready to get to work today on your costumes today."

"Oh, of course I am. But I have one question, why did you say rehearsals though."

"Because we are going to the musical rehearsals, to work that is. So I asked you if you were ready to go to them to work."

"Oh, but that's confusing though."

"Well we can't just call it musical stage crew work time. That just sounds illogical."

"Oh...but I kinda like that name for it. It rolls off my tongue, musical stage crew work time." Kevin chuckled upon hearing this.

"Okay." He said. "We can call it that."

"Yay." With that being said, AJ wrapped her arms around Kevin in a hug, causing Cartman's mouth to drop. _I can not believe what I am seeing!? It can't be!_ In disbelief, Cartman ran off in the other direction while AJ and Kevin were still embracing one another. The two pulled away and AJ smiled.

"I'm really glad we're friends." She said.

"Me too." Kevin replied.


	7. Chapter 7

That whole rehearsal Stan's mind kept racing. He desperately wanted to talk to Kyle, unfortunately that wasn't happening because when you are big parts in musicals, you are rehearsing all the time. Luckily, Garrison had nothing to say to Stan today, but Stan didn't care. He only cared about talking to his super best friend. _What do I say to him? I know I should thank him, but he deserves so much more than that._

"Hey Stan, Stan? Stan hello?" A voice said shaking Stan from his thoughts. He looked in the direction of the voice to see Lana.

"Rehearsals are over." Lana said. "Everyone is leaving."

"Oh shit, is Kyle still around?"

"No, he bolted out of here as soon as rehearsals were over."

"Damn, I really need to talk to him."

"About what?"

"About this morning."

"Oh you saw what he did?" _For you_. Lana thought to herself.

"Yeah, I did."

"What are you going to say?"

"I don't know."

"You can start with thank you."

"But he deserves more than that."

"True."

"Lana, what would you do if Butters did that for you?"

"Well, I would probably embrace him and tell him thank you and that he's the best boyfriend ever."

"I might do that, minus the embracing and boyfriend part of course. Maybe I'll just call him."

"Yeah...I hope I was somewhat of a help." Lana smiled.

"You were. Thanks Lana." Stan smiled back. The two then preceded to leave the auditorium together.

Cartman paced his room. He was confused and angry. _She wouldn't do this to me._ He thought. _She worships the ground I walk on. But then again, she could be seeing Kevin behind my back. After all, she already went behind my back by associating with him. After all, I know what I fucking saw. She was hugging him! Hugging him! They must be seeing each other. No! Because it was only a hug and hugging can mean nothing, it's not like they were kissing...but that could be next? Shit I need proof. Proof that AJ is faithful and that what happened between her and Kevin meant nothing. Or the proof can be that they are seeing each other. Fuck I hope not. I think the first step into getting proof, is to get involved with the musical so I can keep an eye on them. The question is how?_

That night Stan called Kyle. Kyle looked at his caller id. He hesitated at first to pick up the phone, but sighed and answered.

"Stan." Kyle said. "I'm kind of busy right now I really can't talk."

"Dude, you are not busy." Stan replied.

"Yes I am."

"Doing what?"

"Ugh...family stuff."

"Bullshit."

"How do you know?"

"Because I'm your sbf and I know what days you do stuff with your family."

"Fine." Kyle sighed. "You caught me. Now, why are you calling me?"

"I wanted to talk about what happened in the classroom this morning." Stan responded.

"Oh that...you saw that?"

"Yeah and I think you know I did."

"How come?"

"You've been avoiding me. Why?"

"Because I may have went overboard a little."

"A little?!"

"Okay I was acting like a total psycho."

"Yeah...you were."

"I know but I was just sick and tired of the bullshit and I couldn't stand by watching and listening to them making fun of you. I'm sorry Stan."

"Why are you apologizing!? Kyle, I should be thanking you."

"Thanking me?"

"Yes, what you did shows me how much you care about me. Thank you, thank you so much dude."

"I do care about you, you're my best friend."

"Super best friend." Stan corrected.

"Right." Kyle chuckled.

"Thank you again Kyle, without you I would probably still be the laughing stock of the school."

"You're welcome."

"See you in school tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"Cool, see you then."

"Wait! Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Errr never mind. I lost my train of thought."

"Oh, okay bye."

"Bye." Kyle hung up his phone and sighed. _I couldn't tell him, I just couldn't tell him._

The next day came and everything seemed pretty normal. It was a sunny day with of course, snow. Nobody was talking smack about Stan anymore as he sat down in his seat, however, when Kyle sat down, nobody spoke for a few seconds but eventually continued their normal morning chatter. Cartman walked into class last, sat down and put his feet on his desk and stared at AJ, whom was talking to Heidi and Nicole.

"Dude." Kenny said tapping Cartman on the back interrupting Cartman's gaze. "Dude, Cartman you missed the awkward silence when Kyle sat down. I think everyone is scared."

"Kinny, I really don't give a damn about the Jew right now." Cartman replied.

"Whoa. That's a first. You usually love to get into anything Kyle related."

"There are more important things to worry about."

"Like what?"

"None of your business." Kenny frowned and turned his attention away from his friend.

"Okay students." Mr. Garrison said walking in. "Before we start class today, I spoke with Mr. Mackey and we agreed we could use someone to help take charge with the musical. We are offering a student director position to anyone whom wants to be in charge of rehearsal attendance, keep track of props and costumes, and help Mackey and I with directing the show, and communicating via headset with Mr. Adler for tech cues during the show and tech week. If you want to be student director, you have to start today and be at every rehearsal for now on."

While Garrison spoke of this opportunity, Cartman couldn't believe his luck. It was almost too much of a convenience to believe that this was his ticket into involving himself with the musical.

"Any volunteers?" Garrison asked. Cartman's hand shot up. "Does anyone else want to volunteer?" Bradley shot up his hand but immediately put it down when Cartman shot him a death stare. "Okay, fine. Eric, you'll be the student director."

As Mr. Garrison began his lesson, Stan leaned in and whispered to Kyle.

"Dude, we are so fucked."

"You think?" Kyle responded in a hushed tone. "Cartman is going to abuse his power and he's going to ruin everything."

"Probably."

"Just imagine it."

"Oh yeah I'm imagining it Kyle."

"Kyle! Stan! Shut up and pay attention, geez!" Mr. Garrison shouted. The two sighed and stopped their conversation.

When the time came for rehearsal, the cast had their guard up. Word got out pretty fast that Cartman was the new student director. They began to brace themselves for one shitty rehearsal. However, it wasn't shitty. Cartman was willing to do anything to spy on AJ and Kevin even if it meant following his duties and not being a dick to keep his position.

When the cast was on break, Cartman wondered back stage where he was supposed to check in with the crew working on props and then speak with AJ about costumes. Cartman hurried to the crew in charge of props, wrote a list of required props and circles the ones being worked on. He then dashed to the costume room where AJ was hard at work at the sewing machine and of course, Kevin was there. Cartman hid behind a corner of the doorway out of sight.

"Is that one of Wendy's costumes?" Kevin asked.

"Yeppers." AJ said with a smile. "I found this dress in the costume room and I'm giving it ribbons and some lace. Oh maybe I'll add frills."

"It looks nice."

"Thank you."

"I'm serious. You really are talented with a needle and thread."

"Oh stop it, you'll start to make me blush."

Upon hearing that Mr. Adler called Kevin on his provided walkie to come back to the techies. Kevin said his goodbye and left not noticing Cartman.

Once Kevin was gone, Cartman stepped into the costume room.

"Eric!" AJ shouted running to him only to be stopped by his hand.

"Eh, we're on official business. We can't be doing any of that here." Cartman said.

"Ohhhhhh. Right." AJ then put her hands behind her back innocently. "Soooo you must be here for costumes."

"Yes. Show me."

"Otay! I'm currently working on Wendy's first costume and I have one of the ensemble's butler costumes done."

"Let me see the butler costume." AJ nodded and pulled out the butler costume that eventually all of the boys in the ensemble would wear.

"What do you think?"

"It looks like shit."


	8. Chapter 8

**Get ready for some major Stan and Kyle ;)**

"Yeah Cartman it is the shit." AJ said smiling.

"No it looks like shit...meaning I don't like it." Cartman responded.

"Oh...you don't?"

"Yes. However, I don't really have the authorituh to tell you to change it. I'm just giving you my opinion."

"Oh...Otay...Well, maybe you'll like one of the other costumes I make in the future."

"Yeah maybe." Cartman said unenthusiastically as he jotted down his costume notes.

"I know you will!" AJ spoke confidently. "Just you wait! By the way, are we still going to hang out tomorrow night." Cartman looked up from his clipboard and sucked his teeth.

"Yeah, no...no I'm very busy." Cartman responded. "Now that I'm a part of the musical, I have a lot of student director shit to do."

"Oh."

"Look on the bright side, you'll have more time to work on the costumes."

"True. But I want to spend time with you." Cartman walked to AJ and put both hands on her shoulders.

"Do you?" Cartman said raising his eyebrows. AJ stared after hearing this.

"Of course." She replied with a smile. Cartman sighed.

"Look, let's just get this over with." Cartman said raising his clipboard.

"Right." AJ replied.

On the walk home Stan and Kyle were discussing rehearsal. However, they were not discussing the show, they were discussing Cartman.

"Something is off with Cartman." Kyle said. "He actually followed directions and did what he was told to do."

"It's strange." Stan replied.

"It's more then strange, Stan. He's up to something."

"Or he just wants to be around AJ."

"Oh please. He can do that whenever rehearsal is not in session."

"True. What do you think he's planning?"

"I don't know. It's hard to tell. He could be trying to sabotage you, me, or someone else in the cast...Or he could be planning to sabotage the show as a whole."

"Geez..."

"Stan, lets team up together." Kyle said stopping his walk cycle causing Stan to do the same and face Kyle.

"Team up? To figure out what Cartman's up to?" Stan asked.

"Yes." Kyle replied. "Just you and me, dude."

"Shouldn't we at least tell Kenny or Butters?"

"No Stan. Just you and me. You know Butters will run his mouth and Kenny will just as soon as someone waves 5 dollars in his face. We have to do it alone. What do you say?" Kyle said putting his hand out in front of his sbf.

"Okay." Stan replied taking his sbf's hand. "Let's do this. We'll hold a steak out tomorrow night."

"Perfect, meet me at my house at 6pm."

"Alright."

As Friday night came along, Stan headed to Kyle's house. He rang the doorbell and was let in by Mrs. Brovloski. Kyle came half way down the stairs and signaled Stan to come to his room. Stan nodded and followed Kyle. Once in Kyle's room, Kyle shut the door.

"Ready to do this?" Kyle asked while removing his hat and jacket, throwing on a black hoodie, and putting the hood over his head.

"Yeah." Stan replied.

"Then let's head out."

The two boys left Kyle's house and snuck around the neighborhood until they reached Cartman's house.

"Over here." Kyle said to Stan as he pointed to some bushes letting them see into the living room.

The two spied on Cartman the whole evening until he went upstairs to his bedroom.

"Damn it, we don't have a ladder to see into his room." Kyle said. "Looks like we have to call it a night."

"And we didn't see anything suspicious." Stan sighed as the two hopped out of the bushes.

"We just need to keep our eyes on him."

"Hey Kyle?"

"Yes Stan."

"We have some time before we have to be home. Let's head over to Starks pond."

"Okay."

The two boys walked to Starks pond and sat down next to each other.

"I have never really been here at night much." Kyle said.

"Neither have I." Stan replied.

"It's quiet... Why did you want to come here Stan?"

"I don't know. I guess we haven't come here in a while."

"Yeah we haven't." Kyle said removing his hood and revealing his red hair. "It's kind of nice. I think we should make it a routine to come here around this time on Friday once a week."

"Sounds cool, dude."

Kyle smiled at his friend's response and looked up at the full moon that was shining brightly. Stan smiled at his friend. But soon found himself looking at Kyle as he looked up at the moon. Those green eyes seemed to sparkle in their light. Almost as if they were glowing. His freckles more prominent under the glow and little smile bigger than he's ever seen. He looked at peace with himself. It was beautiful...he was beautiful.

 _Wait what!?_ Stan shook himself out of his trance.

"Stan?" Kyle asked. "You okay?"

"I'm fine..." Stan replied. "We should head back home."

"Yeah we should." Kyle said standing up, followed by Stan. "I say we spy on Cartman again tomorrow around noon."

"Yeah cool." Stan replied uneasy.

"Are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah."

The two walked back to their homes. Each of them thinking to themselves. _That was...awkward._ Thought Kyle. _That was gay... Thought Stan. No it wasn't, yes it was, no, he's my super best friend. Best friends can find each other good looking sometimes. Look, just forget about it. It was a trick of the light._

Stan entered his house and texted Kyle to let him know he made it home. Kyle texted back saying he had made it home as well and that he would see him tomorrow.

The whole weekend the two boys spied on their friend and there was nothing out of the ordinary. On Monday, the two met at Stan's locker.

"I can't believe we didn't find out anything this weekend. Maybe he isn't up to anything after all." Stan said.

"Or maybe that's bullshit." Kyle replied catching a glimpse of Cartman walking down a deserted hallway by himself. Kyle grabbed Stan by the arm and the two raced down the hall after Cartman and finally stopped outside a door that had just been shut and locked.

The two boys approached the door and pressed their ears to it.

"Fine! Ten dollars." Cartman said

"Now we're in business." A boy responded.

"Yeah yeah whatever. I want you to let me know everything that is going on between them. Got it?"

"Got it...Why did you ask me to spy anyways?"

"Because unlike me, you're apart of the stage crew with them. Therefore, you are around them way more than me so no one would suspect you."

"True."

"Yeah, now take your ten bucks and get going."

At this point, Stan and Kyle began to hear a twist of a doorknob. The two sbf's ran quickly to the closest secluded area, which was the janitors closet. They shut the door quickly and locked it.

"Thank God nobody is here right now." Kyle panted while catching his breath. "We got lucky."

"We got lucky that we weren't caught by Cartman or whom ever he was talking to." Stan replied.

"That too. So, I was right."

"Yeah, he definitely didn't join the musical because he wanted to."

"Did you notice Cartman say 'I want you to let me know everything that is going on between them.' Them, meaning more than one person."

"And he mentioned needing who ever was in there to spy because he's apart of the stage crew."

"Then here's what we know, Cartman joined the musical to spy on more than one person in the stage crew."

"And whomever he is getting to spy, is in the stage crew as well."

"Shit, I wish we knew who."

"Same. There's a lot of students involved in the stage crew."

"Well, I think this is our next mission, Stan. We have to find out who is spying for Cartman. We find them, we find out who Cartman is spying on."

"And then we find out what's going on. Why does Cartman want to spy on students from the stage crew?"

"Sounds Great." Kyle then took Stan's hands in excitement. Stan froze as Kyle took his hands. It wasn't uncommon but rarely did it happen where the boys held hands longer then like two seconds. Only on certain occasions. But this...it felt different. Stan looked up and saw Kyle's bright green eyes light up in anticipation. _Whoa_ Stan thought to himself. It was as if he was looking at a star. His own red headed star.

"Stan?" Asked Kyle. "You can let go now."

"Oh...ugh...right." Stan replied as he let go of Kyle's hands. _What the fuck is wrong with me?_

"Shit!" Kyle shouted looking at the clock on his phone. "We have to get to class!" The two opened the door and made their escape and made it into class with one minute to spare.


	9. Chapter 9

Cartman sat through class thinking about his newly hired spy and wondering what he might uncover from it while AJ was secretly texting Kevin.

 _So...Have you told Cartman we're friends yet?_

 _Well, I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna convince him that you guys are not what he says you are. I know my Car Car, he's not easily convinced. I might need to bribe him. Food perhaps, it works with apologies believe me._

 _Bribing is good idea, but it won't truly change his mind._

 _Well...it might._

 _And it might not._

 _Darn... other than that I have no other ideas at the moment._

 _I have an idea._

 _What? Tell me! :O_

 _When he comes around to do costume check, say you have nothing for him and then tell him that he has to meet with us techies._

 _Otay I will. :D_

"Okay AJ, what do you have for me today?" Cartman sighed in annoyance as he walked into the costume shop during rehearsal break

"Nothing." AJ replied.

"...Get a move on and give me something new tomorrow. You don't have time to slack off." Cartman said turning around only to be grabbed on the shoulder by AJ.

"Wait!" She said.

"What AJ?" He replied.

"Ughh...I was told that the techies need to meet with you after you meet with me."

Cartman raised both his eyebrows at the mention of the techies.

"What for?" He asked.

"Well, ugh." AJ responded putting her hand behind her head. "They are supposed to show you where you will be during the actual show."

"That's correct." Kevin said walking into the room. "Also we want to test out the head set system."

"Fine." Cartman said as he rolled his eyes. "So where are we going?"

"Upstairs." Replied Kevin.

"To the tech booth? Fuck that."

"We have to pass through the tech booth to get to your designated position."

"Again, fuck that."

"Well, I'm afraid there is no other way."

"Oh God dammit...Fine!"

"Bye bye." AJ said to Cartman as she exchanged winks with Kevin, that of course, Cartman saw.

The two boys walked up the flight upstairs and made it into the tech booth. Cartman looked around in disgust. Kevin walked up to the giant sound board where Andy was.

"Hey, I brought Eric Cartman up here to do a headset test." Kevin said.

"Good. His headset is where the stage mics are stored." Andy replied. "Could you fetch it for me?"

"Yes sir. I'll be back."

Kevin went off to find the headset leaving Andy and Cartman alone.

"So? You're the head dork?" Cartman asked.

"I'm the head of the techies, yes." Andy replied.

"What's your job?"

"I'm in charge of sound."

"Wow so interesting." Cartman said sarcastically. "Tell me more."

"I can give life to any scene." Said Andy. "I have over one thousand sound effects."

"So does a computer. In fact a computer has more." Before the head of techies could respond, Kevin came back with the headset.

"Hope I wasn't too long." Kevin responded. "Andy did you show Cartman the sound board?"

"Yeah..." Andy responded.

"Great. Anyways, I'll take him now."

"Go ahead."

Kevin and Cartman walked down a small hall where they passed various techies who discussed their own roles in the show. The two boys finally reached a door at the end of the hall which when opened, revealed more stairs.

"Where the hell do these stairs go?"

"You'll see." Kevin responded. At the end of the stairs was another door where Kevin took out a key to unlock it. When opened, Kevin said,

"Welcome to the cat walk."

"The cat walk?" Cartman asked. "What the hell is a catwalk?"

"This is."

"Why is it called a cat walk?"

"Because up here, you have to walk very carefully like a cat."

"Oh..."

"Yeah. Anyways, the catwalk is used for all the tech crew on lighting. We have been up here setting up the stage lights. Moving them into position and changing bulbs. During the show, This is where you'll be, but not in this spot. Over here." Kevin and Cartman began to walk to the designated spot as Cartman looked around he took notice that the catwalk extended around the whole auditorium to backstage

"You told me the only way up here is the tech booth, but this catwalk goes all the way around to backstage, wouldn't there I don't know, be a latter backstage for me to get up here instead?"

"Oh there would be, except there wasn't enough money in the theater budget to put one there."

"Can't you just get an ordinary latter. I saw you guys using one."

"We do but once our work is done with it, we have to give it back. Meaning we won't have it during the show so it would be no use to.

"Why did you rent one?"

"We didn't have enough money in the budget to buy one."

"God dammit." Cartman muttered.

The two boys continued their walk and finally stopped. Cartman could see the whole stage. He actually thought it was pretty cool that he was going to be up here during the show.

"You'll be giving directions from your headset up here." Kevin said.

"Wait, we're above the audience, right?" Asked Cartman.

"Yeah."

"Is the cast still on break? I wanna see if I can screw with Kenny from up here."

"It actually looks like the cast is about to go back to rehearsing we have to practice the test quickly." Kevin exclaimed. Cartman sighed in annoyance and put on the headset. The test went smoothly and he could be heard and he could hear Andy, who was testing Adler's headset.

"Great it works." Kevin smiled taking the headset. "Well, now I have to return you." The boys walked back to the door and Kevin stopped Cartman.

"Here's the key to the catwalk. We don't need it anymore because we finished all our work up here." He said handing Cartman the key. "Now, since you have the only key, we recommend you only lock the door when you leave the catwalk. Just in case of an emergency."

"Emergency?" Cartman asked.

"Well, if you get hurt or run into trouble up here, than we can help you."

"Who says I'll need help?"

"Well, it can be dangerous up here. I don't know if you noticed the catwalk doesn't have railings and that it isn't built to the best quality because-"

"-of not enough money in the budget. Yeah I get it."

"Correct. Just, remember to walk carefully and do us all a favor and take Adler's advice. Please don't screw around up here."

"Yeah sure whatever."

"Great."

The boys locked the door to the catwalk walked down the stairs, went through the tech booth, down the next flight of stairs, and made it back.

"So, what did you think if our trip?" Kevin said.

"You want my honest opinion?" Cartman asked.

"Yes."

"Boring and shitty. The only kewl thing was the catwalk, I'm out." Cartman walked away as AJ approached Kevin.

"How was it?" She asked. "Did he have fun!? Now I know I would of! Did he like the sound board? Kev?"

"He was not convinced."

"Ohhh...well, we can try my food bribe idea."

"What we need is to try harder to impress him."

"How are you gonna do that?"

"I'll meet with the techies and we'll figure out something."

"Otay! Keep me updated!"

"Will do!" The two high fived and went their separate ways.

Tuesday flew by and now it was Wednesday morning, meaning another counseling session. Cartman walked down the empty hall and yawned. _God this fucking sucks. I don't have time to deal with this shit._ Cartman sighed. _I need to be dealing with that asshole who has yet, to report to me about what's going on between AJ and Kevin. However, I did tell him to report to me only if he saw anything that looked like they were seeing each other._ He made it to Mackey's office and saw Cassandra, waiting by the door.

"Looks like Mackey is the one who's late." Cassandra said with an eye roll. "Fuck, I don't have time for this. You know how much sleep I lose having to get up to go to these sessions cause of your ass?"

"Wait a minute, these counseling sessions are 'my' fault?" Cartman responded. "You tackled me, bitch!"

"Because you were being a smart ass."

"And I had every right in the world to be."

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"No, you really didn't. To be honest, It's too fucking early to have a yes and no fight with you."

"Wow! Something we actually agree on!" Cartman crossed his arms. Then something clicked in his mind, sparking an idea. "I bet we both agree these sessions are stupid and are nothing but a waste of our time."

"Well shit!" Cassandra responded with a slow clap. "'Two' things we actually agree on."

"What if I told you I could get us both out of this?"

"Go on..."

"It would involve us working together."

"Oh screw that! I'd rather drink bleach."

"Same, but if we don't work together we are going to be stuck doing this every Wednesday morning...Is that what you want?"

"Hell no! But why do we have to work together?"

"Because we both have to pretend to be nice to each other."

"Eww. Nice to you?"

"Believe me, the thought of being nice to you, Cassandra, makes me want to choke myself, but do you have any better ideas?"

"...Fuck." Cassandra sighed.

"Great. Lets pull this off." Cartman replied.

Mr. Mackey showed up about ten minutes later and let the two in. When Cartman and Cassandra entered his office, he let himself in, shut the door, and locked it. When everyone was all sat down, Cassandra and Cartman exchanged glances, signaling each other what they were about to do.

"M'kay it's been a week since we last met, how are things?" Mr. Mackey said.

"Things are actually going quite well." Cartman said.

"Really now?" Mackey replied.

"Oh yeah you bet!" Cassandra chimed in. "So...so...so very well."

"In fact, Cassandra and I met up last weekend." Cartman remarked. "We talked it over and we..."

"What?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"We said our apologies." Cassandra said through her teeth with a smile.

"Well that's good! It's good you two talked about the problem and apologized for your actions, m'kay."

"We just realized we had to set our differences aside, for AJ's sake." Cartman said.

"I'm glad you two are finally being mature. M'kay so we have some progress."

"We even discovered we have a few things in common." Cassandra said.

"Like what?" Mr. Mackey asked.

"Well," Cartman responded. "We both like Xbox One-"

"But I like-"Cassandra interrupted. However, before Cassandra could say she liked PS4 over Xbox One, Cartman nudged her in the side. "Ugh yeah Xbox One...is...great."

Cassandra and Cartman continued listing random things off that they both had a common when they really didn't to Mr. Mackey.

"I see you've made major progress." Mr. Mackey said.

"Oh yeah, Cassandra is just so...so...wonderful." Cartman said through his teeth with a wide smile.

"I'm so glad that we became such good...friends..." Cassandra said through her teeth

"Oh wow me too!" Cartman said hugging Cassandra. Cassandra gave a wide smile and hugged him back."

"Well that settles it." Mr. Mackey stated. "M'kay. I think you two have finally gotten along."

"Does this mean no more counseling sessions?" Cartman asked.

"Yes it does." Mr. Mackey replied. "You may go ahead and leave now, m'kay."

Cassandra and Cartman hopped out of their chairs and exited Mackey's office. When they shut the door they looked at one another and began to gag and cough.

"Oh god! That was disgusting. I think I threw up a little in my mouth." Cartman complained.

"Did you think I enjoyed it?!" Cassandra responded. "You hugged me! Now I'll have to wash my jacket multiple times and bath in hand sanitizer. God! I think this was almost as awful as the time when I dragged you over to my house and made you patch things up with AJ when she found out you were her so called hero of the night."

"I will never understand why you did that. You let me patch things up with AJ because you hated to see her cry, yet, I'm pretty sure you knew it would result in us dating. Yet, you still let it happen. You practically allowed AJ and I to date. Then you turned around and tried to break us up with that bet."

"I knew it was a possibility that you two were gonna end up dating again, only you as yourself and not as her hero of the night. However, just because I knew it would likely happen and I let it happen, doesn't mean I was gonna let you stay together. Why did you think I said on the night you went to the dance with AJ that I wasn't going to be nice to you when she isn't around? Because I despise you. That is why I tried to break you up with the bet that resulted in us going to those counseling sessions, dumbass."

"But now that AJ and I are together, if we broke up, wouldn't that result in AJ crying? Wouldn't you just give in like last time and let me make up with her?" Cartman crossed his arms and looked at Cassandra for an answer. Cassandra smirked and said,

"No not really. Because now, I wouldn't give a shit if she cried over a break up with you."

"What? Why? That doesn't make any sense."

"It actually does because lately, I have gotten to know who you truly are Eric Cartman. A fat, racist, narcissistic, asswipe, who takes advantage of my sister being a pushover. I'd rather have her cry over a break up, then have her continuously ruin her life by being with you."

"Wow, fuck you Cassandra."

"Fuck you and your couch, Cartman!" Cassandra replied walking away waving the middle finger. Cartman huffed then sighed, _At least I'm done with these stupid ass counseling sessions._

 **Prepare for a major time skip next chapter**


	10. Chapter 10

Days and weeks went by, and Cartman didn't hear anything about AJ and Kevin from his spy. It became a month and a half and he was sick of waiting. Surely his spy had information and was keeping it from him. Cartman believed this because lately, techies have been dragging him away when he was supposed to check on how AJ's costumes had been coming along.

The techies began showing him more about what it means to be a techie and all the special privileges it has. This was the plan that Kevin and the rest of the techies came up with to try to help convince Cartman they were not just nerds in his eyes. This way, AJ could tell him she was friends with Kevin. While Cartman was mildly impressed at some of it, he couldn't help but think this was a setup to get him away from AJ so Kevin and AJ can see each other without him knowing. He wasn't falling for it. He knew shit was up and he was sick and tired of waiting. He needed to pull his spy aside.

In the mean time, the show had been going fine. The only bad thing that happened so far was during the first dance rehearsal, Kyle, being a Jew with no rhythm, bumped into the choreographer and she fell off the stage breaking her legs. Luckily, Lana stepped up to replace her. Nobody even knew she could dance until then. Red also stepped in to give Lana some suggestions on dance numbers. They were quite the team.

As for Stan and Kyle, they had been going backstage during their breaks to watch the stage crew carefully. They have seen nothing out of the ordinary. Nobody sneaking around or leaving their areas. During this, Stan was still having moments where he was seeing Kyle as attractive. Stan didn't know how to deal with it except trying to shake it off. However, his mind kept racing. _Why am I doing this?! Why am I seeing Kyle in this way!? Fuck, I wish I could understand._

"Hey Stan." Kyle said tapping on Stan's back to interrupt his thoughts.

"Oh ugh, hi dude." Replied Stan.

"You okay? You've been staring at your open locker for quite sometime now."

"Yeah I'm fine. I just spaced out."

"Oh alright, hey listen, I think I can narrow down who might be Cartman's spy."

"Really? Who?"

"A techie."

"A techie?"

"Yes, it all makes sense now Stan. We have not been checking on what the techies are doing. After all, they are apart of stage crew. Fatass may hate techies, but he knows they are smart enough to not be figured out so easily...Stan? Stan, you okay?" Stan was staring at Kyle and was speechless. Kyle moved closer to his super best friend to see if he could try to help when

"BLEH!" Stan had puked all over Kyle.

"Dude!" Kyle interjected. "You just puked on me." Stan collected himself and looked at Kyle.

"I'm sorry Kyle." Stan replied. "I think I'm sick. I think I'm just gonna head to the nurse's office." Before Kyle could reply Stan started running away. _The last person I did that to was...Wendy...do I...have feelings for Kyle? No! I couldn't! I have always had feelings for Wendy! That's why I joined the musical, to win her back...but, when was the last time I spoke to her? Not since the day she friend zoned me. Shit! I couldn't have a crush on my super best friend! Maybe I could just really be sick, but I don't feel sick...Shit!_

Stan went to the nurse's office despite his thoughts and said he had thrown up. The nurse took his temperature and he didn't have a fever but she ended up calling his mom to take him home. This was because the janitor came in and asked Stan if he was all right and vouched for him. Stan apologized for puking and the janitor just smiled and said that he deals with this shit everyday.

The nurse wrote him a pass to go home and said his mother would be there in ten minutes. She told Stan to go wait by the main entrance to the school. As Stan was heading over to the main entrance, he passed by Mackey's Office. He stopped and stared at the door. He sighed and decided to knock on it. The door opened.

"Hey Stan." Mr. Mackey said. "What brings you here?"

"I need to talk about something." Stan sighed.

"Come on in." Stan walked in and sat on one of the chairs as Mackey sat at his desk.

"To be honest, I was actually waiting to see if you would come here, m'kay." Mr. Mackey spoke.

"What? Really?" Asked Stan.

"Yeah. You see, I know being in the musical has been tough for you, m'kay. Mr. Garrison has been giving you a hard time and I've been as well, but it's just because we see potential in you and we want to see you improve, m'kay."

"Actually the reason why I'm here has nothing to do with that."

"Oh...then what do you want to talk about?"

"I've been having a problem with feelings."

"M'kay, what feelings?"

"Feelings, like gay feelings, for my best friend."

"You have gay feelings for your friend Kyle?"

"NO! Well, I'm not sure. You see, I joined the musical to try to win my ex girlfriend, Wendy back by showing her that I care about her interests. She ended up friend-zoning me and I just...haven't talked to her since...even though I vowed I would get out of the friend zone...I haven't even tried. I started hanging around Kyle a lot more than usual recently and lately, I've been looking at him in a new way. A way I used to look at Wendy."

"M'kay" Mr. Mackey said "Well I think-"

"-Maybe it's sexual tension!" Stan interrupted. "It has to be! It would make sense because we've been spending so much time together lately. However, even before all of that, I have lowkey found Kyle a little attractive and I do enjoy being around him...maybe even more than Wendy...Look, I just can't be gay! Sure Kyle and I have had a lot of sleepovers over the years, but that means nothing because everyone does that with their best friends."

"There's nothing wrong with sleepovers."

"And sometimes we've slept in the same bed during these sleepovers but again, friends do that too."

"Yes, that's true."

"And sure, we sometimes spooned in the bed...friends do that too, right?"

"I'm sure some...friends...will spoon every now and then...m'kay."

"Exactly. Kyle and I are just friends. We do things only friends do like practicing kissing while grabbing each other's asses every now and then."

"...Mmmmkaaaaaaaaayyy...Stan, as your counselor, I need to ask you something?"

"What?"

"Have you ever considered that you might be living in the closet?" Stan stared at Mr. Mackey in disbelief. He sat there petrified until he heard his phone buzz. He checked his phone to see that his mother was here to pick him up.

"Ugh, I...I..I have to leave now." Stan got up and ran out of the office. He reached the main entrance and ran outside to see his mom in the car, waiting for him.

"Oh dear, Stanley you look pale. When we get home you are going straight to bed."

"Yeah...okay mom." Stan replied getting in the car.

Kyle was sitting in class when Stan sent him a text saying he was sent home. Kyle replied by telling Stan to get some rest and he would go through with spying on the techies without him. Cartman on the other hand, was texting his spy to meet him during recess.

 _Meet me in the same place we last talked during recess today._

 _Why?_

 _I have yet to hear back from you and I'm sick of waiting._

 _It's because I haven't found anything._

 _Bullshit! Tell me what you know during recess._

 _Fine._

Recess finally came along and Kyle was hanging out with Kenny and Butters on the monkey bar dome. Kenny and Butters were talking about if they've nailed the dance for the opening number. Kyle sighed. Recess sure was boring now that Stan was home sick. Kyle hopped off the dome and said he would catch his friends later.

He walked the playground trying to find something to pass the time until he caught something out of the corner of his eye. He saw Cartman sneaking away from recess. _Oh no you don't fatass._ Kyle dashed after him and was able to slip away as well. Kyle followed Cartman to the same room that he and Stan had been before. Kyle hid behind a trash can as he saw Cartman go inside. Kyle went to the door and put his ear against it like last time.

"Don't lie to me! You know something!" Cartman shouted.

"No!" Replied his spy. "I really don't. I'm being completely honest with you. There is nothing is going on between them that you should be concerned about."

"Don't fuck with me."

"Trust me I'm not! I swear!"

"...Okay, it's obvious you are not spying hard enough. I didn't pay you to slack off Dougie!"

Kyle removed himself from the door. _Shit, I was right! It was a techie and not just any techie, it's Dougie, that short ginger kid in the second grade._ The sound of a doorknob being turned snapped Kyle out of his thoughts and ran as fast as he could _. I've got to tell Stan!_

Back in the classroom, Kyle typed away at his phone.

 _Stan! Text me when you get this message!_

 _What's going on Kyle?_

 _Dude, I have something important to tell you!_

 _So tell me._

 _No, dude! I need to tell you in person. Are you well enough for me to come over after rehearsal tonight?_

 _Ughhh...sure. I guess. Actually, I need to tell you something too._

 _Great! See you then!_

Stan was lying in bed as Kyle opened the door to his bedroom that night.

"How was rehearsals without me?" Stan asked.

"They were fine." Replied Kyle. "Cartman had to fill your role. Surprisingly, he did pretty well."

"So what do you need to tell me?"

"I found out who his spy is."

"Who?" Stan asked sitting up.

"Remember that short ginger kid that hangs around with Butters sometimes?" Kyle explained.

"Yeah, Dougie."

"He's Cartman's spy!"

"Well, you were right Kyle. It was a techie. So are we gonna confront him?"

"Yeah! I was thinking we pull him aside first thing in the morning."

"Good idea."

"So, you had something to tell me too, Stan?" Kyle asked.

"Ugh...yeah." Stan stuttered. "Look, I..." Stan paused as his mind began to fight itself. _You need to tell him what's been going on with you._ "You see..." _No! That's a terrible idea!...Especially, because you aren't gay!...I could be, I puked on him...You're sick...No I'm not!_ Stan looked at Kyle straight in his green eyes. "Kyle I..." _Go ahead and tell him and ruin your friendship...I will! I'll tell him that I like him!_

"Kyle I think that we've been hanging out too much. I really want to find out whats going on with Cartman, but I really need to be focusing on getting out of the friendzone with Wendy!" Stan blurted out. _Shit...What did I just say?_

"Oh...I see." Kyle said shallowly.

"Wait, Kyle that's not what I meant to-"

"-Don't speak Stan! I get it. I'm done."

"Done with what?"

"I'm done with you. I tried to help you get your mind off Wendy by having you team up with me to see what Cartman's been up to, but I now see that it was a waste of my time."

"But Kyle, if you can just listen-"

"-No! You listen to me! If you want to go back to chasing after Wendy, by all means go ahead. But when you get back together, break up, and cry all over again, don't come crying to me...You know what, I'll go confront Dougie tomorrow by myself. I'll stop Cartman's plans by myself, I don't need you. You can just go crawl back to Wendy. Goodbye Stan."

Kyle stormed out of Stan's room and out of his house leaving a dumbfounded Stan. _Why couldn't I just tell him! Why?_

The next day, AJ arrived early to drop off more materials in the costume room. On her way there, she saw that Kevin was coming from the tech booth.

"Hey Kev." AJ said.

"Hey AJ." He replied.

"What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I came early to retrieve my back pack. I left it in the tech booth over night. Luckily, we weren't assigned homework yesterday. What are you here for?"

"Dropping off some fabric. I ran out of what needed to complete Wendy's last costume. Phew, I'm ultra happy to be almost done with her outfits."

"Can I accompany you?"

"Sure.

The two kids entered the costume room. AJ set down the materials and looked at Kevin.

"So." AJ said. "Since you're here, I can tell you that today is the day I'm gonna tell Eric we're friends. My brain and I think that Car Car has really seen what you're made of and I'm absolutely tutely positive he will approve our friendsh-" AJ was interrupted by a pair of lips on her mouth. Kevin was kissing her. She was so shocked she didn't even try to push him away.

During the kiss, Dougie, who had found out from other students that were at school early, that they saw Kevin and AJ go into the auditorium. Assuming they were together, Dougie walked into the auditorium looking for them and when he found them, he saw them engaging in the kiss. Dougie's mouth hung open in disbelief as he quickly snapped a picture on his phone and ran away quietly. As he ran he sent the picture to Cartman with a text that read,

 _You were right._

Kevin removed his lips from AJ's mouth and AJ just stared, still in shock.

"AJ?" He asked.

"You...you kissed me..." AJ responded. "On the lips."

"AJ...I really like you. As most of us kids say, like like you."

"Kev, Kev I...I'm sorry but I like like Eric. I know a lot of kids here think that's cuckoo of me, but that's who I like like and there is no stopping it. I really like you, just not in the way I feel about my Car Car."

"Oh..." Kevin sighed sadly. "Now I feel like an imbecile. I bet you don't even want to be friends anymore now that I told you and had kissed you."

"Kev, don't be upset." Replied AJ. "I'm not mad that you kissed me. Just a tad weirded out. We can still be friends."

"That's good to know."

"Looksies, I'm sure you'll find a girly that you like like and she like likes you back one day I live by the code, there is someone out there for everyone."

"I hope so."

Cartman opened his phone as he was heading into the school and stopped dead in his tracks as he pulled up Dougie's text message. He closed his phone and entered the school appearing as if there was nothing wrong with him while rage was building up inside him.

 **Shit is about to go down come next chapter ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**After deep thought I've decided to cut Cupid Me out of the story. I had an idea to use him but I didn't like how the idea began playing out so Cartman in chapter 7 and 5 will be changed to him fighting his own thoughts. Also Cupid Me's parts in Sticking With the Fatboy will be removed as well. However his role in Clinging to the Fatboy will not be changed.**

Kyle approached Dougie's locker and saw no sign of him. He asked his locker neighbor if he came by yet and they replied that he had and was now in class. _Guess I'll find him during recess._ Kyle thought

Kyle sat down in class and his eyes noticed Stan approaching him.

"Kyle, we need to talk." Stan said.

"Class is starting Stan. You should go to your seat." Kyle replied coldly.

"Kyle ple-"

"Stanley take your damn seat." Garrison shouted.

"Dammit." Stan muttered as he took his seat.

During class, Cartman was surprisingly calm, while inside he was broken and furious. AJ leaned over and whispered,

"Hey I got something to tell you during rehearsal break."

Cartman didn't respond. AJ was confused, she poked him with her pencil. Again, Cartman ignored her. She sighed at this and redirected her attention to class. Kyle picked up on this behavior.

When recess came along, Cartman avoided AJ by spending it inside the computer lab. In the mean time, Kyle set out in search of Dougie and found out from Butters that Dougie was called to a techie meeting during recess. Kyle sighed in annoyance and accepted that he would have to talk to him after school.

After school, Dougie was at his locker putting away his school things as soon as he shut it he saw Kyle's face.

"Hey Dougie." Dougie jumped in surprise.

"Geez, you scared me." He said.

"Sorry, dude. I just need to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Dougie, tell me. Tell me who Cartman asked you to spy on and why." Dougie froze in response.

"I...I don't know what you are talking about." Dougie replied.

"Dougie, I know all about it. I listened in on your conversation with fatass. Please, you have to tell me."

"It doesn't matter, I'm not even spying for him anymore, today was my last day. He got the information he wanted."

"What information? Tell me."

"I...can't. Cartman was very specific about keeping it between us. If I tell, he'll know I told you and you know what Cartman does to people who betray him."

"I know...but dude, you have to tell me. I know there is more than one and they are in stage crew." Dougie stared at Kyle with wide eyes,

"Well, you certainly know a lot." Dougie spoke.

"Yes, I do." Kyle replied.

"Look, I can't tell you why, but I will tell you who."

"Who is it?"

"AJ and Kevin."

"Wait, what? Why?"

"I told you, I can't tell you why. I have to get to tech rehearsals." Dougie rushed away leaving Kyle confused.

"M'kay, today we are having another dance rehearsal." Mr. Mackey spoke up. "Lana, take it away."

"Thank you, Mr. Mackey." Lana said. "With help from Red, I was able to choreograph the final number." Butters raised his hand.

"Yes, Butters?"

"Why the final number? Wouldn't it make sense to go in order?"

"Not necessarily Butters."

"Oh all right then."

"So everyone come on stage." A few cast members groaned.

"Come on." Red piped up. "Lana is working hard to choreograph the show. You should be thankful she volunteered to take the old choreographer's place."

"Well actually, you volunteered me." Lana said nervously.

"Because I knew you could do it." Red responded. "Look how much you accomplished already?"

"Yeah! Go Lana!" Butters cheered causing Lana to blush.

"So how about you all get up here and show some respect for Lana!" Red said.

"She's right." Wendy said in agreement. "Lets do this."

As everyone got on stage, Stan passed Kyle. Stan tried to speak, but Kyle walked quickly away to his spot for the number. Stan sighed in response.

"M'kay everyone, it's time for rehearsal break." Mr. Mackey spoke up an hour later. Cartman grabbed his clipboard and began his duties. Kyle's mind swarmed. _Why does Cartman want to spy on his own girlfriend and Kevin?_ Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nicole walking out of the auditorium to the drinking fountain. _Maybe Nicole might know something about AJ and Kevin._ Kyle got up and began to follow her.

Kyle walked the hall in search of Nicole. On his way over to the drinking fountain, he saw Mr. Mackey, Mr. Garrison, and Mr. Adler entering the teacher's lounge with a bottle of what he presumed to be vodka. _Why am I not surprised?_ Kyle thought. _Maybe it's because I'd want to do the same thing if I had to run a musical full of elementary school kids._ Kyle continued walking and finally met Nicole at the drinking fountain.

"Hey Nicole." Kyle greeted

"Oh, hi Kyle." Nicole said after she finished drinking from the water fountain. "How's rehearsals going today? I heard it was another dance rehearsal."

"Yeah, it's going all right. Listen, I have a question."

"About what?"

"Well, you and AJ are like best friends, right?"

"Yeah."

"So you would know mostly everything that goes on in her life, right?"

"Well, yeah. But why are you asking me that question?"

"What is going on between her and Kevin?"

"Kevin and AJ? Well, I would say they're pretty good friends. They occasionally hang out when they aren't doing their tasks for the show."

"Friends?"

"Yeah."

"And let me guess, Cartman doesn't know."

"No, he doesn't because-"

"-he thinks techies are loser nerds and if she hangs out with them, then she'll become one. Yeah I know. Makes sense why she wouldn't tell him."

"Well actually, she was planning on telling him today. You see, for the past month, AJ and Kevin were trying to show Cartman being a techie is not what he thinks it is. That it's actually kind of cool. She believes she's convinced him and now is the time to tell him."

"Do you believe she has you know, convinced him?"

"I really don't know. I'd like to think so."

"Cartman already knows."

"What?"

"He had someone spy on her and Kevin."

"Oh my god, are you serious, who?"

"I don't want to give out a name because it's really not that important. What's important is the fact that Cartman already knew, but didn't confront her or Kevin about it sooner. I mean, he wouldn't have spent so much time having someone spy on them if it was to find out they were friends. That would literally be maybe at the most, a week's job. Unless, that wasn't the full reason Cartman wanted someone to spy on them."

"Oh no." Nicole spoke softly.

"What is it? Do you know?" Kyle asked curiously.

"It's only a theory, but I have suspected that Kevin likes AJ more than a friend and I guess I may not be the only one."

"So you think that Cartman knows Kevin has a crush on AJ? But then if he suspected Kevin was into AJ, why all the sneaking around? Why hadn't he confronted Kevin sooner? Why was he ignoring AJ today if Kevin is the one with the crush? Unless...unless he thinks AJ likes him too."

"That's crazy! AJ is completely attached and attracted to Cartman, none of the girls and I know why, but I guess we'll never know it's a complete mystery. Anyways, as her best friend, I can assure you that she does not have a crush on Kevin."

"What if Cartman thinks differently? You and I both know how he is. He can take one thing and blow it completely out of proportion."

"Yeah, I guess I can agree with you there."

"...His spy told me that Cartman got the information he needed today. Did he maybe find something out to accuse AJ and Kevin of having a secret relationship?"

"What could he have possibly found out to accuse them of being a secret couple?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure now that he has this information, he is going to confront Kevin and AJ both. And to make it worse, he'd probably confront them in front of everyone."

"You're right. We better head back before he decides to confront them so we can explain the situation."

"Agreed."

Cartman took a deep breath, as he entered the costume room. AJ popped her head out of one of the racks holding up her finished costumes.

"Yay! You're here!" She smiled. "Now I can finally tell-"

"-Do you have costumes for me to see?" Cartman interrupted.

"What? Oh! Right! Whoops. Here are the costumes currently finished. As you can see, all of Wendy's costumes are now complete. I still need to finish a couple costumes, but I'm sure I can complete them before tech week."

"Whatever you say." Cartman rolled his eyes and began to walk away when AJ stopped him by putting her hand on his shoulder.

"Wait." She said. "I need to tell you something." Cartman swatted her hand off his shoulder and continued walking away. AJ took this by surprise and began to follow him.

"Why are you walking away from me?" She asked. Cartman didn't respond. "Oh shoot, I know what's going on...you're mad at me. I guess that explains why you ignored me today...Otay, what did I do this time?" Cartman swerved around to face her and shallowly spoke.

"I think you and I both know."

"Well, no, I actually don't. That's why I asked the question silly." AJ responded. Cartman huffed and proceeded to walk away and AJ continued to follow. "I must have done something horribly wrong to cause you not to talk to me. I'm sorry for whatever I did." Cartman stopped. The two had walked from backstage onto the dead center of the stage where all the cast members, sitting in the audience on their phones or in group conversation, could see them in plain sight.

"Sorry?" Cartman muttered with a chuckle. "You're sorry, that's cute, AJ."

"Do I need to make more apology brownies?" AJ asked. "Because I will."

"Do you really think you can win my forgiveness with presents?" Cartman said sourly as he turned to face the blonde in the earmuffs.

"It worked before." AJ responded.

"Well it won't work this time! What you did was fucking unforgivable!" Cartman interjected. This caused all the cast members in the audience to stop what they were doing to watch the ordeal beginning to unfold.

"What was so unforgivable? I didn't do anything that was that bad...I don't think...Help me out here. Please, just tell me why you're mad at me."

"YOU CHEATED ON ME!" Cartman hollered. Every cast member's mouth dropped. Kenny got up out of his seat as quickly as possible, got on stage, and put his hands on Cartman's shoulders.

"Whoa! Dude, calm down." Kenny said. "You're making a scene."

"Oh fuck your poor ass off Keeny!" Cartman spouted. "I have every right to be angry!"

"Oh no, this can't be happening right now. This has to be stopped before it gets worse. Where's Garrison and Mackey? Where's Adler?" Lana asked in panic to Butters. Butters looked around,

"They must have walked out." Butters replied. "I'll go look for them."

"Yes! Go!" Red spoke up. Butters got out of his seat and quickly left the auditorium while all the other cast members joined Kenny on stage and gathered around in a circle.

"...Eric...I never...I never cheated on you." AJ responded in shock.

"YES YOU FUCKING DID! DON'T LIE!" Cartman hollered.

"I'm not lying!" AJ said now raising her voice which was not often heard out of AJ unless she was of course on her period with no mood stabilizers.

"Then you want to explain to everybody what you've been doing around Kevin?"

"Kevin? Wait! No! You have it all wrong."

"Oh do I now."

"That's what I was trying to tell you. Kevin and I are friends. Just friends. I didn't tell you right away because I wanted the techies to convince you that you may be a little bit wrong about them. I swear, Kevin and I are just friends. I never cheated."

"...Great explanation AJ." Cartman clapped in sarcasm. "Next you'll tell me the kiss you shared with him was just you and him being friends and that you weren't cheating." At that moment Cartman showed everyone the picture Dougie took.

"How did you-Have you been spying on me?!"

"Yes he has been!" Stan blurted out.

"Stan! You knew and never said anything?!" Kenny asked.

"I didn't know who he was spying on?! And to be honest I have my own problems to worry about."

"How did you even know I was spying?" Cartman asked facing Stan. "Unless you were spying!?"

"Ughh..." Stan replied.

"Fuck you Stan! And let me guess, Kyle too?"

"No! It was just me." Stan lied.

"Okay...sure." Cartman said not believing Stan in the slightest.

"I...I can't believe you were spying on me." AJ spoke up.

"And I can't believe that you kissed Kevin." Cartman responded.

"Eric, I can explain the whole thing."

"Pfff can you now? Enlighten me."

While AJ was explaining to Cartman about the kiss, Butters ran the halls and ran into Kyle and Nicole.

"CARTMAN AND AJ ARE FIGHTING!" Butters shouted.

"What?!" Kyle and Nicole shouted in unison.

"Yeah! Have you seen Garrison, Mackey, and Adler!?"

"Teacher's lounge!" Kyle blurted out.

"Thanks!" Butters left for the teacher's lounge while Nicole and Kyle ran as fast as they could to the auditorium. When they entered, AJ had finished explaining how Kevin kissed her and how she told him that she had no feelings for him. Kevin even stepped in to confirm everything. However, Cartman wasn't buying it.

"Really? Funny how the picture looks like you both were into the kiss." Cartman said in disbelief.

"It was just a coincidence I swear." AJ responded. Cartman rolled his eyes

"Blah blah spewing bullshit outta my whore mouth. That's what you are AJ. A NO GOOD CHEATING WHORE!" AJ took that hardly. AJ put her head down.

"I guess it's over then..."

"Over?"

"I...I can't be with a boy who doesn't trust me...Good...Goodbye Cartman." AJ turned around and ran backstage to the costume room with Nicole, Lana, Red, and Kevin following behind.

"ALL RIGHT THAT'S FINE CAUSE I ALREADY BROKE UP WITH YOU WAY BEFORE YOU BROKE UP WITH ME I JUST DIDN'T SAY IT RIGHT AWAY BITCH!"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Kyle shouted as he hopped on stage and stood in front of Cartman.

"Kahl! Get your nosey Jew nose out of my face!" Cartman hollered.

"Listen Cartman," Kyle sighed. "I know it's hard to accept, but AJ was telling the truth, but I get it, you must always play the victim, and look what happened, You and AJ split and you made a complete ass outta yourself in front of everybody."

"I didn't make an ass outta myself."

"Yes you did. Please just hear me out, I was talking to Nicole earlier about the relationship between AJ and Kevin and even she said that AJ and Kevin are just friends. You're probably wondering how I knew about this, the truth is I've been onto you for a while Cartman and-"

"-Yeah your boyfriend Stan told me that you both have." Cartman interrupted.

"Wha-what?"

"Stan. Your boyfriend...Oh wait, he can't be your boyfriend can he? Maybe I should call him the boyfriend you will never have. It must really suck Kyle, seeing the man of your dreams being into chicks. I bet it pains you every time Stan has mentioned Wendy or any other hoe at this school. I bet it hurts you more that Tweek and Craig can have a gay relationship and you can't. But, you'll just have to accept that no matter what, Stan will never feel for you the same way you feel for him." All the kids were shocked, especially Stan.

"I...I..." Kyle stuttered as he looked around at everyone around him staring. Kyle then sighed and quickly got off that stage and ran out of the auditorium without saying a word. Nobody said anything. A few seconds later, the doors opened and Garrison, Mackey, and Adler were there with Butters.

"What the hell happened?!" Shouted Garrison. "We were gone for literally 10 damn minutes and within that time, we got Butters running into the teacher's lounge shouting how there's a huge commotion in the auditorium."

"Well," Wendy began. "Cartman was-"

"-Why am I not surprised." Mr. Garrison sighed interrupting Wendy.

"It wasn't a fist fight or anything Jesus Christ." Cartman spoke up with an eye roll. "I got into an argument with my now ex girlfriend...Which is really nobody's business now can we get back to rehearsals?"

"Since I don't really care about any of that crap, Eric. Yes, lets get back to rehearsing." Replied Garrison. "Everyone get your lazy asses on stage." As the students were rushing up, Garrison took notice that Kyle was missing. "Where's Kyle?!"

"I'll go look for him!" Stan volunteered.

"Fine." Garrison replied. "Hurry up and find him."

Stan ran the hallways looking for Kyle. He found out from a hall monitor that they saw Kyle pass by and that he was at his locker. Stan headed in the direction and found his super best friend packing up his back pack.

"Dude, rehearsals aren't over yet why are you packing up?" Stan asked. Kyle said nothing. "Kyle?" Kyle took his last item, put it in his bag, and slammed the locker shut. As Kyle began walking away, Stan grabbed his hand and held it tight.

"LET GO STAN!" He yelled. Stan refused and dragged Kyle into the janitor's closet.

"No, not until you tell me what's wrong" Stan said now back against the door preventing Kyle from escaping. "Listen dude, why did you run away from everyone back there?"

"Did you hear what he said?" Kyle finally spoke up.

"He said a lot of things." Stan replied not knowing what else to say. He was still shocked about what Cartman had said.

Kyle looked at him and sighed.

"I don't think you understand..."

"Understand what? Tell me Kyle." Stan then put both hands on Kyle's shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

"Dammit Stan! Cartman had kicked me out of the closet!" Kyle said tears beginning to fall.

"Is he right? Are you really gay?" Stan asked. Kyle looked at him as if he was the most stupidest person in South Park.

"Yeah dumbass" he said "It's not like you care." Stan smiled and replied,

"You're right I don't. I don't care if you're gay dude. I still want to be your friend. In fact, I think I might be-"

"-And that fucking fatass telling everybody I have gay feelings for you!" Kyle interrupted causing Stan to freeze. _Could he have feelings for me too?_ He thought.

"Do you?" Stan asked.

"Do I what?" Kyle replied.

"Have feelings for me."

"Stan, I..I..." Kyle then turned his back to Stan and spoke softly "Even if I did like you more than a super best friend, it would never work just like Cartman said...I mean you're not gay...though sometimes I wish it could be different dude."

"So you do like me more than a friend?"

"Yes! Happy Stan?!" Kyle shouted as he turned around. _He likes me back_! Stan's thoughts shouted. _What do I do?_

Stan then drew the redhead into his arms and held him tightly. Kyle looked up at him.

"Stan, wha-what are you doing?" He asked.

It was now or never. Stan soon leaned down and pressed his lips to Kyle's. Kyle gasped as Stan kissed him. Stan then felt himself be pushed away.

"Hey!" He said as he rubbed his shoulder.

"What the hell Stan!?" Kyle exclaimed.

"What? I like you too dude! Isn't it obvious?" Stan asked

"Bullshit! You're just kissing me because you feel sorry for me..." Kyle said. "I can't believe you would play with my emotions like this."

"Kyle..." Stan said.

"No! I don't want to here it!" Kyle said tears falling as he ran to the door and ran out leaving Stan alone. Things had taken a turn for the worst.


End file.
